I just returned from spending the day at a fun with a purpose event in my community. It was called Upstanders Day and was sponsored by NOVA (Network Of Victim Assistance) “NOVA was founded in 1974 as Women Organized Against Rape (WOAR). It was the first and continues to be the only rape crisis center in Bucks County. During the early to mid-1980’s when the federal government began to acknowledge and address the needs of victims of crime, WOAR was expanded to become NOVA, the comprehensive victim services organization in the County serving all victims of crime and to providing prevention education services.”
This organization has a well stocked thrift shop with high quality household items, books and clothing. When I am in the midst of cleaning and purging, which I am now, the NOVA store is where I deliver my belongings that welcome a new home. After 9/11, rather than travel to Ground Zero in NYC, to offer therapeutic services, I volunteered for NOVA’s crisis hotline to be available to listen to callers who were feeling overwhelmed in the aftermath of the terroristic attack on our country. As a therapist, I have sent clients there to partake of their services.
I was glad to have a table there for Bucks County Kind which is a growing Facebook page that invites people from all over the world to join as they share and learn about ideas for offering acts of kindness. We are co-sponsoring a children’s art contest with the theme What Does Kindness Mean to You? Submissions have been coming in from K-6 students and today, children who were at the event with their grownups, availed themselves of the rainbow hued pencils and and markers and sketch pads on the table and designed art from their heart(s).
As I walked around the parking lot of the Dublin firehouse, I saw friends who are Upstanders in their personal and professional lives. What does it mean to be an Upstander? My definition is someone who stands up rather than stands by if someone is being mistreated. Someone who uses their words, whether written or spoken to be a social justice role model. Someone who buoys others up rather than bullying them down. Someone who believes they have the power to evoke positive changes in the world.
Bystander syndrome, can be described in this way- people think the other person will help so they don’t. My question is how to help people get past this and not use it as a reason to allow for suffering and struggling when the means to help are at our disposal.
A few years ago, I wrote an article called Why People Don’t Help When They Can. In it, I described several situations in which I had a choice to help or turn the other way. As someone with a strongly developed sense of conscience, I helped to the best of my ability.
If I had the power to change the world:
>> There would be no physical assault against anyone.
>> Children would live in justified trust of the adults who take care of them since they would never be harmed; that includes verbal abuse and hitting.
>> Humans would be good stewards of the planet, recognizing that we are temporary tenants.
>> Everyone would “leave the campground better than they found it.”
>> No one would flick cigarette ashes or drop butts on the ground.
>> We would all reduce, reuse, and recycle.
>> Touch would only be by consent.
>> Social justice would triumph.
>> Peace would prevail.
>> There would be no borders between states and countries.
>> People would love who they choose without judgement.
>> There would be accessibility for those of all ability levels.
>> Dictators and autocrats would relinquish the desire to overpower.
>> Gender would not matter, and people could be free to be genuinely themselves.
>> No one would freak out over gender neutral bathrooms…just remember to wash your hands.
>> No one would be marginalized or mistreated because of the amount of melanin in their skin.
>> Religion would not be an incendiary flashpoint.
>> Every elected leader would have the entirety of the planet in mind when they contemplate their actions, not just those who voted for them.
>> People would not line their pockets at the expense of others.
>> Elected officials would be servant leaders rather than self-serving.
>> People would remember that we all drink the same water and breathe the same air, and we can’t afford to live without either.
>> Everyone would consider the impact of their choices on the entire community.
>> Education would be a right for everyone.
>> Adults would acknowledge that every child deserves to be loved and safe.
>> We would break the generational cycles of addiction and abuse.
>> There would be no more gun violence.
And we would all do what must be done.
—
This Post is republished on Medium.
—
Photo credit: iStock
