It’s not news that humans are social creatures. In fact, we’re only beginning to unwrap the neurological, psychological, and cognitive effects of social deprivation.
Lack of bonding has been linked to neurological dysfunction, behavioral changes, and even addiction. In his TED Talk on addiction, Johann Hari shared research and theories that suggest that addiction has little to do with chemical hooks, which were previously thought to create dependency on a substance, and more to do with lack of bonding.
In my travels I have worked with communities and groups across the globe, and have seen first-hand that the places where the social structure is highly inclusive also see less crime, less addiction, less psychosis, and longer-lived citizens. When I’m here in the United States however, I see so many barriers to true bonding.
Technology is one topic of debate, of course. Hari touches on that in his TED Talk as well. The more superficial our connection, the less bonded we feel. And that can be harder than being completely ostracized or isolated.
|
From tea ceremonies to morning coffee clubs to martini lunches we’ve made and renewed our social bonds while drinking and dining.
|
But another disconnect I see quite often, especially in the elder population, is social shame. My parents are both quite active still, but my grandparents and one of my aunts are older and deal with a range of medical issues. None are life-threatening at this juncture, but they are life-limiting. And they would be less limiting if it were not for the fact that their symptoms make it difficult for them to dine in public without risk of embarrassment.
My aunt, for instance, has Parkinson’s. She is still able to move fairly well with the help of a “laser” cane. And she can manage objects that have a certain weight without too much shaking. But something light, like a fork or spoon, is nearly impossible.
So here is a woman who is still relatively active, still able to enjoy going out with friends and socializing. And she knows that the time may well come when she is no longer able to do that. But she has reached a point where she won’t go out for meals unless she can order “finger foods” because she cannot feed herself with normal utensils. And studies show us that the less human bonding she enjoys the faster the disease is likely to progress.
From the beginning of memory, humans have socialized over food and drink. We broke bread and toasted our health. From tea ceremonies to morning coffee clubs to martini lunches we’ve made and renewed our social bonds while drinking and dining. So what do you think happens when someone is no longer able sit down with friends in public or even in their own homes and eat and drink with confidence?
When you think about it, there are so many health issues that can limit our ability to do that. Since a lot of my work is related to creating community and I wanted to have solutions to recommend, I did a little research on common issues. The three most common limitations I found are dietary restrictions, swallowing disorders, and dexterity.
Dietary restrictions can be managed more easily now since more and more restaurants are prepared to accommodate the needs of their patrons. But insulin dependence can be really challenging because sometimes you need a boost at mealtime. So you have to make sure you have your insulin with you, you have to leave the table to give yourself a shot as well as be prepared to take the used needle and syringe away with you because you sure don’t want to just put that in the trash. Not easy or convenient and potentially embarrassing. But I found a resource that would make socializing (and I would think everything else) easier. It’s called the V-Go and it’s a patch that you apply every day, kind of like a Band-Aid, and then you can press on it and a tiny needle does the rest. That sounds a lot less unpleasant and a lot more manageable than the normal way of giving yourself a shot.
I thought swallowing disorders like dysphagia might be a lot harder to find a solution for. And I was particularly interested in having a solution for this because, while my aunt is still able to swallow normally, we know that if the Parkinson’s symptoms continue to advance this is something that will likely affect her in the future. Common causes of dysphagia are head or spinal cord injuries, esophageal diseases such as cancer or GERD, strokes, or neurological disorders like Parkinson’s and cerebral palsy. If you have dysphagia you may have to thicken liquids before you try to drink them. The required consistency depends on your clinical function, but drinking anything without adding a thickener is inviting disaster or even death.
|
There truly is no substitute for human connection.
|
It seemed like everything I researched was either a premixed concoction or a messy powder. Which might be clinically effective, but I can’t think they would be pleasant or easy to manage in a social situation. Wait staff tend to raise their eyebrows if you whip out a container of your own beverage, and even then you’re restricted to premix options. Of course, that’s probably less disruptive to a meal than adding a powder to your glass or cup and trying to unobtrusively blend it into your drink.
As it turns out there is a solution. I found a rather adorable video of a woman doing a “wine tasting” with her mother using a thickening product called Simply Thick. Simply Thick isn’t a powder, it’s a liquid. It looks kind of like honey and comes in a single-serving packet. They were making something called a “Sparkling Frose” which I have never tasted, but which is now on my list to try.
One of the latest videos posted by Simply Thick is a video demonstrating their product mixed with beer, which happens to be my drink of choice. I hope to never need it, but take a look – you just add a packet of this stuff, stir it with a spoon (not nearly as noticeable as shaking or whisking) and viola, even someone with a swallowing disorder can enjoy their favorite drink without social stigma! Which means my aunt can have her coffee or wine without anyone giving her a second glance.
But what about the dexterity and muscle control issues such as the symptoms my aunt is already experiencing? Well, we’ve ordered her a computer. That’s right, it’s something called Liftware Steady, which is essentially a handle for an eating utensil (you can get both a spoon and fork attachment) that contains a computer with sensors to detect the severity of tremors being experienced and to stabilize the “business end” no matter how much the handle is shaking. While not completely unnoticeable, my aunt will be able to use a fork and spoon in public, which she cannot currently do.
There truly is no substitute for human connection. If you really want to help someone I have found that the most meaningful thing you can do is to be with them and to make sure they are taking opportunities to be with others. You may know people who never seem to want to go out if eating and drinking will be involved. If so, they may be experiencing some social stigma because of one of these common issues. Hopefully, one of these solutions will help.
—
Photo: Getty Images
