Most of people don’t do this. Most people don’t view struggle—and even failure—as instructive. Most people don’t demonstrate the resilience to hang in through tough times this way or the openness to say, “That didn’t work—what can I learn about myself?”
—
Most business conferences I attend include a speaker who shares a story about a challenging experience faced when doing something significant. The stories might be about how broke the speaker was when he started his company or how shocked the speaker was when her largest client walked away. The speaker often shares these anecdotes with a half-smile on his face and the audience typically responds with a silly, often-sentimental smirk. The experiences come across as almost adventurous or romantic in nature.
And sometimes the speakers are mountain climbers or deep-sea explorers who share experiences of facing life-threatening obstacles—struggles that seem larger than life. Most people, upon hearing these accounts, shake their heads and say, “Wow, I’ve got nothing to complain about—my problems are pretty manageable compared to what this woman went through!”
These reactions completely miss the point.
♦◊♦
Most people are at least familiar with the story of Steve Jobs and Apple. He co-founded the company in his garage, helped grow it into a global powerhouse, ran afoul of company leadership, got fired, returned several years later, and then led a computer revolution that dramatically changed the world. Some people have watched the video clip of his Stanford commencement address in which Jobs described how painful and humiliating being terminated from Apple truly was, and how he strongly considered leaving Silicon Valley and doing something different.
Lots of people know about Walt Disney’s visionary commitment to transforming the world of entertainment through films, theme parks, and merchandise. His legacy is ubiquitous and permanent. Not as many people realize that his first decade or so of operating in Hollywood included several near-fatal blows to his company, including the hiring of his entire company, save for one person, by a distributor. It wasn’t until after this calamity that Disney’s team developed Mickey Mouse and all the other characters who indelibly altered childhood imaginations forever.
Jimmy Carter has been an incredibly successful ex-U.S. president. He has negotiated truces and championed human rights around the world for decades and shows few signs of slowing down. His efforts, likely, have saved thousands of lives and redefined humanity for millions (maybe even billions) of people. He was not a successful American president. He served for one term during an era of economic “stagflation” and political humiliation—the Iranian-embassy hostages were released the day of his successor’s inauguration. He delivered the “crisis of confidence” speech on live television to an audience unclear how to react.
While it’s easy to sit back and chuckle that these three figures endured a lot along the way en route to success, that’s not the salient point. What’s significant is that all three men learned from their experiences and emerged better as a result. Steve Jobs couldn’t have created the iPhone or iPad at Apple without going through what he did. His wisdom and maturity in later years required the “forging” of his talent during the tough years. Walt Disney couldn’t have changed animated films forever with Snow White or created the modern theme park with Disneyland unless he nearly lost everything earlier in his career. These challenges were instructive. Jimmy Carter couldn’t have honed his humanitarianism without struggling in the hardest job in the world. He learned about who he was and his true gifts.
Most of people don’t do this. Most people don’t view struggle—and even failure—as instructive. Most people don’t demonstrate the resilience to hang in through tough times this way or the openness to say, “That didn’t work—what can I learn about myself?”
But we all can do this.
♦◊♦
Carol Dweck, researcher and author, writes about this phenomenon. In her landmark book Mindset she explores the two camps that most people sit in regarding learning. Some operate with a fixed mindset, in which “Every situation calls for a confirmation of their intelligence, personality, or character. Every situation is evaluated: Will I succeed or fail? Will I look smart of dumb? Will I be accepted or rejected? Will I feel like a winner or loser?”
People in fixed mindset don’t tend to lead effectively or grow successfully. They’re too worried about looking bad, or having their struggles wipe them out.
Others, however, operate out of a growth mindset. “The growth mindset is based on the belief that your basic qualities are things you can cultivate through your efforts. Although people may differ in every which way—in their initial talents and aptitudes, interests, or temperaments—everyone can change and growth through application and experience. Even in the growth mindset, failure can be a painful experience. But it doesn’t define you. It’s a problem to be faced, dealt with, and learned from.”
It takes courage to have the growth mindset. It takes courage to try something ambitious. It takes courage to view failure as data to learn from rather than personal condemnation.
Whether your goal is to grow a business, raise a child, or defy a stereotype, you will encounter disappointment and even failure. How you handle these negative experiences will likely determine how much you success or how much you learn.
Be courageous.
