Like all of us, I am deeply disturbed by so much that is happening in the world. I read and hear news of violence and hatred, fear and revenge, and it sickens me. How could it not? Indeed, I have spent a good part of my entire film career traveling in conflict zones, documenting human woe and misery, so I have seen it first hand. I have children. I don’t want to leave them to fend for themselves in world overwhelmed by mayhem.
I get why fear elicits a dynamic response. Humanity attaches to fear. Fear transforms into adrenaline and adrenaline provides energy that serves to protect ourselves and our loved ones. It is a wakeup call, but a wakeup call that can smother reason and compassion with phobia and anger.
Yet there is another wakeup call that is just as important and even more compelling. It is the story of the vast majority of people who maintain dignity and grace even in the worst of circumstances. It is about hope and possibility and of dreams and dreamers. These are the stories of men and women who rise up daily with no purpose other than to be kind and to be of service. These are the millions of women who never stop giving, and of men who sacrifice out of love for their partners, their children and our future. These are the stories that define the Good Men Project and reflect the spirit of our writers and our readers.
While mainstream media may present a grim portrait of life without hope, a dog-eat-dog world where potential danger lurks everywhere, the reality is there are millions upon millions of decent men and women who reveal a uniquely positive and loving side of humanity.
I set out in the years after 9/11 to find a project that would counter this negative scenario, one that celebrated the best in people even in the worst of circumstances. For me, it had to be more than just a film whose shelf life was limited, but a movement that would build over time. Here are the criteria I chose for my search.
1. It had to be a project focused on men; there were already endless portraits of women doing ‘good’ and even more of men doing ‘bad’.
2. It had to be universal; an experience that affected all men regardless of race, culture, creed or country.
3. It needed to be dramatic; something visual and with real consequences.
4. It had to be personal; something that requires sacrifice.
5. It had to be political; whereby an individual deed when aggregated with other individual deeds would come together to form a movement for social good.
It took ten years but finally, while working on a project that had started as an exploration into my own relationship to fatherhood, I discovered what I had been seeking.
I was in Kenya at a small health clinic on the border of Uganda filming with Dr. Doug Stein, one of the world’s leading vasectomists. He was well on his way to his 30,000th vasectomy when I met George Mbogah. George had traveled 26 hours by bus to offer himself up as an act of love for his wife who had nearly died in pregnancy and his two children for whom he wanted to provide a decent education. He knew little about the procedure, but he knew it was his time to rise up for his family.
That night I meditated on George’s extraordinary commitment. I had heard similar statements before, but there was something that resonated that day and it was sometime right before sunrise that I had the revelation that would change my life.
“What if I could aggregate millions of men making a personal choice to get a vasectomy on a single day and transform it into an act of solidarity and kindness for their children, their wives and our future?”
And this is exactly how I started World Vasectomy Day. I reserved the URL, www.worldvasectomyday.org and made my first proclamation, “In one year, I will convince 100 doctors in 20 countries to do 1000 vasectomies in 24 hours.” And then I declared, ‘let the games begin”.
The short story is that four years later, working hard, not giving up and staying true to a set of ideas whose purpose is to counter the negative narrative that dominates our time, we have emerged as the largest male focused family planning event in history with over 1000 participating doctors in 40+ countries who now commit to over 10,000 vasectomies as part of our event. We have demonstrated that when presented with a chance to become a positive part of history, men will show up. We always do.
And yet, WVD is not just a celebration of men doing right by their loved ones and themselves, although yes, I am proud to be associated with a project that requires consciousness and commitment. No, WVD is a collective movement of thousands that I hope will one day will be millions, who work together to fight for the rights of women and children, who defend life in all its glory and who don’t let fear frame our future.
George was a reminder that although humanity does not necessarily see eye to eye on the meaning of existence, men every where seem to agree that the quality of our own lives is determined by the quality of the lives we can offer our children. We can’t give them everything we would like, and some people certainly have less to give than others, but we all share a core belief that a measure of our success as fathers lies in our capacity to assure that the lives of our children be no worse, and hopefully much better, than our own. No man feels good watching his children suffer. And no father can gorge his belly while his babies go to sleep hungry.
We all have a responsibility to be conscious of our role on this planet. And if you’ve come this far, if you’ve read this letter, I have no doubt you are a unique person. Today’s letter is not just about informing you of what a fellow GMP writer and reader is up to, but to ask that you join our cause.
It’s easy, but it’s critical and it’s especially so right now. Yes, I need your help. We are just a few, but our ambition is enormous. We are committed to a big dream this year. The plan is to be in Kenya, one of the fastest growing populations in the world where vasectomy is almost non-existent.
I’ve received permission from the Government of Kenya to bring the event to Nairobi, Kenya. I have been working non-stop to pull off our November 18th event. There will be endless examples on that day of men who represent the best of who we are, and many statements and declarations of wisdom to help others. To get there we need your participation. It could be money. (It’s so simple you do it in minutes.) It could be a personal story about your own vasectomy, or a woman’s perspective. It could be a blog post or a story or a connection to a doctor who made a difference. What matters is getting started and joining our cause.
We don’t need a lot, but we need as much as you can give. Dr. Stein is offering a $50,000 matching fund so every dollar you offer will be doubled.
Please join our cause. Please find a way to participate. Please spread the word.
Best,
Jonathan
Photo: Getty Images