What Used to Matter to Me Does Not Matter as Much Anymore

Looking back 15-20 years ago, I realize that I was in hyper-zoom, busy-buzzy mode much of the time. I was working several simultaneous jobs, getting little sleep, spinning plates, juggling balls and bowling pins and flaming sticks (metaphorically speaking). I thought I had to be adept at multi-tasking. I was focused on fame and fortune in exchange for my gifts and talents. I wanted to be ‘one of Oprah’s darlings,’ who she took under her wing and they skyrocketed to fame. When it didn’t happen, I felt both bereft and determined to continue to pursue what I wanted…the spotlight. I was reminded over and over to ‘attract, don’t pursue.’ When I did that, opportunities showed up.

Still, when that ‘big stage’ eluded me, I started the process of letting go of that expectation. Even when I took the leap and offered a TEDx talk, called Overcoming the Taboo of Touch, I felt disappointed that the powers to be at what I called ‘Big TED’ didn’t see fit to put the talk on their main page since they claimed that the data wasn’t factually vetted (it was). I continued to put myself out there in the world and received feedback that what I said, made a positive difference in people’s lives. I have come to recognize that this is worth its weight in gold. Perhaps, just having the courage and creativity to craft the talk was the point. It was the same as when I interviewed the Dalai Lama in 2008. Simply having the experience of meeting His Holiness (and hugging him) was sufficient, doing something that was a gift for me and for those who read the words of this world leader who exudes kindness and compassion.

When a near fatal heart attack came a’callin’ in 2014, I promised that I would ease back into neutral, since the lack of sleep (5-6 hours a night and 12-14 hour work days) were partly the cause. That intention lasted for a few months and then I geared back up into zipping around, launching Hugmobsters Armed With Love which had me traveling and hugging willing strangers. A few other health challenges put roadblocks in my way. When the pandemic occurred, of necessity, I had to slow my roll since I worked from home and rarely ventured out. When I did ease my way back into the world, fully vaxxed, I was mindful that I needed to protect my physical and emotional wellbeing, since this was a time of ordeal, compounded by the first election of a man who turned the world upside down and is now tossing it around in petulant child mode not caring if he drops it, as long as it keeps him entertained.

I started to change my priorities from fame and fortune and social butterfly flitting here, there and everywhere, to a more calm and composed state. I used my tools to craft articles that address the turmoil we find ourselves in. I have been told that my words give people a sense of hope in the midst of despair. Guess what? They do that for me too. As a therapist who works with clients experiencing anxiety and depression as their baseline functioning, the state of the world ups the amps for them, so I need to be grounded and provide a safe haven for their feelings.

I have conversations with people all throughout the socio-political matrix.

I dare anyone to tell me why DT is fit for the job. He is not a servant leader, he expects to be served. He is not cognizant of the intricacies of governance, he sees himself as an autocrat with unlimited power. His decisions may cause irreparable harm to our country. They have already caused the deaths of countless people during the pandemic. He has allowed an unelected interloper to have his hands in the workings of the country, from our jobs to our hard-earned benefits. His words led his followers to storm the Capitol. He pardoned the convicted criminals who committed acts of trespass, assault and vandalism. Back on the streets, some have already re-offended.

He shamed himself yesterday in front of the world as he attempted to strongman bully a respected world leader as a show of fealty to a dictator who threatens the safety of the entire planet. President Zelensky is now being embraced, as he should be, by other world leaders.

I am not ashamed to be an American. I did not vote for him. He does not represent my values and world view. I am willing to have a conversation with anyone who did vote for him, as long as it is civil. I will not name call or demean. I will, however, attempt to change your mind and ask you to join us in repairing the damage already done.

I stand with Ukraine in their struggle for safety and sovereignty. I am a citizen of the world and commit myself to healing it, mending the rends, repairing the rifts and bringing people together for good, in service to wholeness. Maybe that was my purpose all along and I just didn’t know it.