This coming Thursday, October 13, 2022, I will reach a significant number on the annual calendar. Not the big 6-0, but rather, the big 6-4. Cue the Beatles song. Hard to have imagined when the tune came out in 1967 as I was nine years old, what my mid 60s would be like. Here I am. Many years widowed (1998), in and out of relationships (love is never wasted, as I have come to discover), happily single at the moment, nurturing my 2 3/4 year old grandson and 5 month old granddaughter as I am on the kid care team and spend most mornings with them while my son and daughter-in-law are at work. I am working full time and then some, but that’s nothing new, since I have had multiple streams of income for much of my adult life. Writing, speaking, counseling, ministering and doing PR and marketing. I am blessed with friends who are family of choice and my treasures. I live with a sense of gratitude for all aspects of my life, even the sucky ones. I call it the ‘if not for’ dynamic, meaning, if not for turns of events, certain people would not have shown up, certain opportunities would not have arisen and certain accomplishments would not have taken place. It’s more than the luck of the draw or fate at work, beyond the adage, “What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger.”
Perhaps it is making the best of less than great situations. In my case those events include illness and death of loved ones, personal illness; a few that took me to the precipice, career challenges, addiction (workaholism and co-dependence) and weather related upheaval (Hurricane Andrew in Homestead, FL in 1992) Each detour brought adventures, new friends and lovers, career expansion and reminders of what I am capable of.
A week ago, I had just completed my TEDx talk at TEDx Faruot Park in Lima, Ohio, called Overcoming the Taboo of Touch during which I proved that I was capable of committing to memory, a 17 minute talk but not making it seem like a rehearsed speech. A year ago, I set the wheels in motion to see it through to fruition. Hoping that a month from now, the talk will be out on You Tube.
Three years ago was the last time I had a celebratory gathering in my home for my birthday. The purpose of the shindig has always been to bring together people from the various aspects of my life so they could meet each other and potentially create their own connections. Potluck yumminess, music, drumming, singing, hugging, laughing, cuddling, conversations about life, the universe and everything were part and parcel of these events. With the pandemic, those annual happenings got put on hold. At this point, I am still teetering on the edge of indecision about whether to call people together next weekend. Likely, I will wait for the really big birthday next year.
Today I got together with my cousin and friends at a local diner to celebrate the 89th birthday of a dear friend who has been in my life for 35 years. Yvonne was younger than I am now when our paths crossed. So much has occurred in both of our lives since then. She says she isn’t aging, she’s ripening. I say that we are now seasoned women. The others around the table fit into that category as well. Life has had its way with us and we with it. In the past 2 1/2 years since solitude became the norm, I have come to enjoy my quiet and solo time. At the moment, I am ensconced in my recliner, blanket over my legs, listening to relaxing music as the late afternoon sun is streaming through the windows on a crisp early autumnal day.
Does that mean I have become a stay at home couch potato? Nope. It does mean that I am more selective about how I invest my time and energy. These days I celebrate life, both through exuberance and silence. Both feed my soul. And the answer to the eternal question, “Yes, I will still be needed and fed,” by the rich, full, juiciness of life.
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Talk to you soon.
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This Post is republished on Medium.
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Photo courtesy of the author