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As much as we might not like it, traditional notions of gender expression continue to remain a significant force in society today, not only influencing how children are raised, but also informing the behavior of adults. While substantial strides have been made in more progressive parts of the world in accepting the fluidity of gender expression, historical stereotypes are still often enforced by social pressure from peers, including exaggerated representations of gender in various forms of media and advertisements.
Stereotypical Gender Roles: A Bane to All
It is undeniable that women continue to face immense societal pressure to remain within a feminine gender mold. However, in many progressive parts of the world, it is generally more socially acceptable for women to diverge from a stereotypically feminine mode of existence than it is for men to diverge from the stereotypically masculine model of life. While young girls who wear masculine clothing and engage in more traditionally masculine activities may be labeled as a tomboy, such behavior is met with significantly less resistance than a young boy who prefers to wear feminine clothing and engage in feminine activities.
Many young men experience suffocating policing from both adults and their own peers to be as masculine as possible. This phenomenon is no doubt rooted in an engrained misogynistic belief in our society that masculinity is desirable while femininity is somehow not. A girl who wants to be more masculine is considered reasonable, whereas a boy who rejects masculinity in favor of femininity is unthinkable. Unfortunately, the base premise that masculinity is inherently more desirable than femininity is fundamentally flawed. While both masculine and feminine traits are valuable, it is necessary to have a balance of both in order to be a whole person.
Excess masculinity and femininity are both problematic. That being said, excess masculinity is especially problematic, as masculine traits such as competitiveness, stoicism, and assertiveness tend to be very antisocial when taken to any extreme. Not only does toxic masculinity hurt the way a person affects the people around them, but it also causes tremendous harm to a person’s own mental health and wellbeing. To further elaborate upon this, here are five ways toxic masculinity can hurt mental health.
The Struggle of Conformity
While growing up, children are often prescribed specific gendered interests. Girls are supposed to play with dolls and plastic tea sets, while boys are supposed to like action figures and toy cars. Not only do these gender roles enforce gender stereotypes later in life, but children often feel like they have to hide their true interests for the sake of conformity and not feeling ostracized. This is especially true for young boys who can become the target of teasing or even adult intervention if they try to play dolls with the girls instead of “boy’s toys.”
This pressure to conform to gender roles persists later in life and leaves many young men feeling incredibly insecure and invalid about their genuine hobbies and interests. Many men refuse to express themselves and their interests genuinely or explore activities outside the prescribed masculine norm. This leads to significant emotional turmoil throughout life.
Emotional Suppression
One of the most harmful aspects of the traditional concept of masculinity is the insistence on a stoic approach to emotions. Men are expected not to cry or show sadness. Sometimes men aren’t even allowed to express happiness outwardly. The association of emotional expression with femininity and therefore as a negative trait is fundamentally incompatible with human needs. Emotional expression is just as important as any hunger or thirst, and neglecting your emotional needs can lead to various negative effects — not just on your mental health, but on your physical health, as well.
Anger and Aggression
The general attitude towards masculinity always seems to be one in which men are told they have to constantly prove how masculine they are. Oftentimes, dominance is associated with masculinity, and men feel compelled to assert their masculinity through dominance, manifested as aggression towards other men. This idolization of anger and aggressive behavior is extremely unhealthy, not only promoting interpersonal conflict but consistently placing individuals under duress in stressful and confrontational circumstances.
Hypercompetition
As indicated above, masculinity tends to be something men are constantly asked to prove, and this tendency is rooted in the association of masculinity with competition. Competitiveness is an important aspect of masculinity, but when taken to extremes can result in a sense of perpetual inadequacy and insecurity. Toxic masculinity can create a deeply damaged and fragile ego, leading to poor self-esteem and erratic behavior.
The Need for Vulnerability
Another deeply damaging aspect of traditional gender norms is the association of vulnerability with femininity. Toxic masculinity promotes the idea that embracing feminine traits to any extent somehow makes that person less than, which leads to individuals who refuse to embrace such human traits as compassion or empathy. Furthermore, it fails to ever allow them themselves to be vulnerable with others. Interpersonal connection is extremely important to human wellbeing, and it’s impossible to have a genuine relationship with someone if you refuse to let them in. It also forces individuals to carry their burdens entirely alone without ever seeking help, further isolating them.
Overcoming Toxic Masculinity
Toxic masculinity has significant negative consequences both on individuals caught up by the phenomenon and the people around them, as well. The idea that traditional notions of gender are antiquated is not an uncommon opinion, yet the practical reality remains that many people still cannot break free of the binds of gender roles and suffer because of it. It is okay for anyone to seek mental health crisis resources if they need to, regardless of gender. And in doing so, they can finally liberate themselves from the antiquated societal norms which have been holding them back.
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This content is brought to you by Anne Davis.
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