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Mindfulness is a type of meditative practice, which helps you focus on being fully present and aware of the contents of your mind and what you’re sensing and feeling in the moment, without judgment and reactivity.
There couldn’t be a more challenging time to practice Mindfulness than when there’s something upsetting or distressing going on like the war in Israel that is so deeply affecting us and making it difficult to maintain equanimity. Because there’s tremendous polarization between differing sides — you’re either pro-Israel or pro-Palestinian, and if you’re neutral you’re viewed as a coward who’s doing nothing to help the problem (as if it’s your responsibility to solve it) — it’s easy to feel things like judgment and reactivity.
The Israel-Palestinian conflict is extremely nuanced and complex, and anything but black and white. For anyone who knows Israel’s history, and didn’t suddenly learn it on TikTok, they’re aware of the deep and troubling history between the Israelis and Palestinians that dates back to before Israel declared statehood in 1948. What social media has shown us since the war broke out and even before Israel fought back to defend itself after the terrorist group, Hamas, brutally killed and kidnapped innocent civilians, is that people all over the world think they’re experts on the history of Israel. And depending on what side you’ve taken, you can explain who is in the right and who is in the wrong and have no problem defending your position with verbal barbarism.
What we’re witnessing on college campuses, for example, are students who aggressively lash out at one another, and Jewish students have expressed fearing for their safety — even their lives. This is a complete lack of Mindfulness and a chaotic display of racism and knee-jerk reactivity instead. Clearly, there’s a lack of mindful awareness of what one’s thoughts might trigger when spoken, which Mindfulness helps us to do. Instead of taking a necessary pause before blurting out deeply offensive insults and name calling, impulsivity takes over. Sensitivity and compassion in tempering heated emotions are absent.
I’ve always felt that Mindfulness should be taught in schools, beginning as early as kindergarten, to develop strong, healthy behavioral habits. Unfortunately these types of extremely beneficial self-regulating practices that aid in developing emotional intelligence, are, for the most part, not valued enough to be integrated into the curriculum. As a result, what we are seeing at this very tumultuous time is a dearth of very important communication skills.
Mindfulness teaches us to be, well, mindful. That means we’re conscious and aware of our words, deeds, and actions, and instead of impulsively projecting our anger or hatred onto someone of a different race or religion, we pause and take a much-needed breath before spewing hate. The war in Israel has shown us how unmindful many people are and how unable they are to think things through or debate heated issues with level-headedness and civility.
Mindfulness helps us sort out our differences by not letting our emotions run the show or reacting to what someone is saying to us. We can honor differing opinions or ideas than ours, and genuinely try to listen. When we commit to mindful communication, we hear one another in ways we might not have imagined. We suspend our judgment about someone before they’ve even had a chance to fully explain themselves. Maybe their opinion about the war in Israel is influenced by “transgenerational trauma,” or “ancestral trauma,” meaning a family member or an ancestor was hurt or killed in a war because of hate or racism, and they carry that trauma, which triggers anger in them. Trauma needs to be addressed so that it doesn’t become embedded in the psyches of generations to come. If we don’t learn how to mindfully work with our emotions, we’ll use political dealings or war to justify anger, and that can be very dangerous.
Here are some ways to use Mindfulness that enable us to be more civil in our conversations and practice nonjudgment and nonreactivity.
1. Take a pause – Before speaking, check in with your mind, body, and heart. Are there thoughts of hate in your mind? Can you feel them moving through your body? If you feel any hate in your being, acknowledge it, and consider how expressing that hate to another person might make them feel. A pause can help us think twice before words leave our mouth.
2. Be open to hearing someone out– Even if what someone else says to you is completely opposite of your opinions or beliefs, try and listen with an open, nonjudgmental mind. Yes, it’s challenging, but give it a try. Be mindful of not interrupting. Let them speak their truth and observe what you feel without reacting.
3. Listen without mental wandering– Be aware of where your attention goes when someone else is talking. Are you already ahead of the moment? Are you thinking bad or nasty things about this person, as if you’re silently name calling? Keep your focus on being fully present and listening without judgment and reactivity.
4. Speak your truth mindfully– When you speak, remember that ot isn’t an opportunity for you to hurt someone or cause harm with your words. Think of how your truth might open someone else’s mind and help them better understand your point of view. Whenever you speak, do it from a place of respect and with the intention of causing no one any harm.
The only way we can behave civilly to one another is if we practice Mindfulness as our form of discourse. We can’t reach someone with anger —That only fuels another’s anger and becomes an endless vicious cycle of fighting and warring.
We must remember that wars don’t begin on battlefields. They start with how we speak to one another. The Israeli-Palestinian conflict is one of viewing each other as the enemy. We need to think of the innocent civilians on both sides of the war in Israel who have lost their lives so tragically. What would they want us to do?
The answer lies in the depths of our hearts, and it’s not fueled by hate.
Ora Nadrich is a pioneering Mindfulness expert, international keynote speaker and coach, and the founder and president of the Institute for Transformational Thinking. A sought-after expert in the fields of Mindfulness, transformational thinking and self-discovery, she is the author of Says Who? How One Simple Question Can Change the Way You Think Forever, and Live True: A Mindfulness Guide to Authenticity, named “one of the 100 Best Mindfulness Books of All Time” by BookAuthority, Mindfulness and Mysticism: Connecting Present MomentAwareness with Higher States of Consciousness, and Time to Awaken: Changing the World with Conscious Awareness. Learn more at oranadrich.com.
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