Raising a child with ADHD has been an ongoing learning process. My oldest son has ADHD, and figuring out effective discipline was tough even when we had a diagnosis for him. However, with time, research and a lot of work, I have been able to develop some concrete discipline tips for other parents who are raising children with ADHD.
Discipline Starts With Us Parents, Particularly Fathers
Children with ADHD need to have a base of consistency at home, from regular schedules to dependable discipline. As the wiring of their brains is non-neurotypical, they need this extra attention to consistency to give their racing minds something to build healthy structure and routines onto. But if they aren’t receiving consistent discipline from both parents, children with ADHD will have that much more difficulty maintain appropriate behavior and discipline.
One study pointed out the crucial role fathers play in helping a child with ADHD become disciplined. The study “suggested that fathers’ lack of involvement in their children’s lives added more maternal stress, which could increase the likelihood of maternal ineffective parenting, and also deprived the child of needed socialization opportunities.”
It can be tough for fathers who work outside the home to come home and still have to be on top of discipline. But, us fathers play a key role in providing our parenting partner with relief and support. So, even if it would be easier to let things slide, your child with ADHD needs you to main your discipline for them to become more disciplined.
Implement Positive Discipline Strategies
Parenting a child with ADHD is a constant balance of love and discipline. Striking this balance is important to remove any frustration and anger from your discipline, so it does not turn into punishment. To help you maintain effective discipline, these are the three main components of my discipline strategies.
1. Give Clear Instructions And Expectations
A child with ADHD may not make the logical connections you expect from other neurotypical children, so you will need to make sure you are very clear concerning your instructions and expectations.
For example, if you ask your kid with ADHD to clean their room, be detailed about what that looks like, from making the bed to properly putting away clothing. Being clear will reduce frustrating and reduce arguments with your child.
Focus On Positive Results
A constant need for stimulation and outside input is common among children with ADHD. This need can lead them to crave any attention they can find, whether the attention is negative or positive doesn’t matter.
When possible, researchers recommend that parents focus on positive reinforcement and ignore misbehavior as much as possible. As any attention is rewarding for a child with ADHD, you need to focus on giving attention to positive behaviors and results. Your child will actively choose positive behaviors to receive the attention and stimulus they crave.
Allow For Natural Consequences
If it does not put your child in danger, it is important for you to allow your child with ADHD to experience natural consequences so they can connect their actions to real consequences.
One example of effective natural consequences is a child who continually forgets their lunch at home. Missing one meal won’t hurt your child, but their discomfort will be an effective reminder to them in the future.
What To Do When Your Kid With ADHD Melts Down
Now, there comes a time where children with ADHD become overstimulated and cannot regulate their emotions. When they are overwhelmed, it is important to have an area for them to go where they can calm themselves.
This area isn’t a time-out spot in the traditional sense. Rather than being sent to time-out for misbehavior, make it clear to your child that this spot is their safe spot. Leave the area free of distractions so your child can refocus themselves. Also, let your child determine when they are calm and ready to leave. This ability to come and go from their time-out spot is what really changes it from a punishment to a tool your child can use throughout their life.
Being a good parent to a child with ADHD may take more work and discipline. But when you do it right, it can be incredibly rewarding to see your child succeed despite everything which is working against them.
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This post is republished on Medium.
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Photo Credit: Pixabay
