A toddler sets a store clerk straight on the meaning of Daddy.
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Once a week Daddy takes you on a daddy —daughter date.
On the car ride over to Smitty’s, you managed to cleverly convince Daddy to make one very significant stop. You began a conversation with him as you normally do, by getting his attention with eye contact in the rearview mirror. He glances over at you from time to time, where you sit happily bouncing your head, to daddy’s heavy metal music in the background. I adore you both so much. You often stare at the side of his handsome face while he’s driving, trying to gauge his reactions, from every word that comes out of your mouth.
You instantly made that face that you make when you feel someone says something that makes no sense.
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You opened up an interesting debate, with a brilliant close. You went on to explain how hard you’ve worked on transitioning all by yourself, from pullups to big girl underwear, and that you felt this personal achievement deserved a special shopping adventure for Dora The Explorer underwear.
During your adventure shopping for new underwear at Walmart, you managed to pick out 13 pairs. You were so excited, you wouldn’t even let daddy help you with holding them, continually proclaiming “I can do it, I can do it.” As you stopped to pick up one or two that fell out of your little arms, you tightly clenched onto them walking through the aisle’s and patiently waited in line to pay for them.
Daddy handed over his money to pay for your fabulous Dora underwear, the female cashier smiled, and then said something that blatantly puzzled you. You were holding up your new underwear as high as your arms would go, for her to reach down and individually ring them through. You made it clear that you were not parting with these well earned new underwear.
She was a nice lady, admiring how proud and happy you were. She spoke to you and said, “Oh, how cute, daddy is babysitting you.”
You instantly made that face that you make when you feel someone says something that makes no sense. You raised your eyebrows like you always do when you disapprove, and something sounds absolutely ridiculous to you.
You scrunched up your nose in a matter of fact fashion, and replied, “That’s not my babysitter that’s my dad, my dad doesn’t’ babysit me, that’s silly.”
My lovely daughter, daddy and I are so proud of you. We are inspired by your integrity, confidence, and honesty.
I love that you “see it” and you “know it”, daddy and I are equals.
I love that some nights you ask for daddy to read to you and other nights you ask for me to tuck you in. I love that some days you want daddy to play the drums with you and other days you want to learn how to make homemade french fries with me. I love that when you are scared you want to be in daddy’s arms because daddy’s muscles and strength makes you feel safe and secure. I love that when we go snowboarding, only daddy is allowed to touch your snowboarding gear because you’ve established a special bonding moment that is tied to you and him in learning how to snowboard.
I love when you break something or spill something your not afraid to tell either of us because you know we will help you clean it up together. I love when you are feeling sad, or mad or frustrated you are comfortable talking to both of us because you know we will support you and help you work through those feelings. I love that when you are hurt you go to either of us for comfort. I love that you trust me to wash your hair, and trust daddy to cut your fingernails.
It’s those hidden gems of a moment, which is so often found in your sense of wronging a right, that I am aware how lucky it is to be invited to take part in your world.
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I love that the only thing daddy couldn’t do as a parent was nurse you, and that didn’t stop the two of you from bonding in so many other ways. I love that daddy has this unique ability to inspire you. I love how you show us with kisses, hugs, and cuddles how important we both are to you.
I love that you think of us as equal, trusting us in being capable of nurturing all your needs.
I am enlightened every time I take a step back and soak up your wisdom. You are exactly where you are supposed to be in this moment. Everything is perfect. In each moment that you witness ignorance, injustice, inequality, gender bias, shaming, bullying, spanking, you define yourself. You make a choice of what you want and what you don’t want in speaking up. You’re much wiser than I ever was at your age. You know exactly what you like and what you don’t like, what you will accept and what you will not accept, what you feel is right and what is wrong.
This is why we are so proud of you. You are going to change the world with your insightful honesty and rightful common sense of equality.
These lessons you continue to teach us, fills me with an overwhelming burst of awe on how you make the world such a better place. You feel everything to the core of your being. You take a stance in speaking up for what you believe is unjust. We hope we can continue to offer you opportunities on how to connect to your true self and help you be the little confident person you desire to be.
It’s those hidden gems of a moment, which is so often found in your sense of wronging a right, that I am aware how lucky it is to be invited to take part in your world.
Thank you, my sweet daughter, for passing along the message loud and clear “Dad’s don’t babysit, they parent.”
Love, Mommy
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Photo: Courtesy of the Author
Very nice read. Very enjoyable.