Gentlemen in Training
The Case for Manners for Today’s Young Men – Part 3
And before my very eyes, I saw it: my two sons treating each other like equals. For that split second, they had each other’s back. They were genuinely feeling empathy for one another.
Here was the scene: we were driving away from a bookstore and my younger son coughed. His older brother turned to his younger brother and said, “Are you okay?”
My younger son said, “Yes,” followed by a “Thanks.”
I was so proud of them, so pleased, I almost cried. In fact, I did. But instead of tears of joy, they were more tears of self-pity. Before we had left said bookstore, my youngest knocked over an entire display of holiday greeting cards. The whole thing. Luckily, he wasn’t hurt, but I was totally embarrassed, which quickly turned into anger. We were in line to pay for some books, and as I heard the display hit the floor, and saw the cards fly everywhere, I considered leaving our purchases there, and storming out with the kids. I managed to hold it together, apologized profusely to the cashier, paid for our things, then left.
In the car, I managed to cool off, but I gave the boys a stern warning. “I’m very angry,” I said. “I need to have a time out for myself. No music, and please, no talking.”
I was surprised to hear silence as we drove home. Then came my little one’s cough.
The boys were taking care of each other, because, I, their role model, had checked out. My swing to anger had jolted them out of their mischief and into a protective mode.
While I appreciated their gentlemanly manners, their brotherly love, I realize it was because of my lack of empathy toward them. Such are the mistakes I make as an imperfect father, often showing my own brand of uncouth behavior, when they need to see my manners most.
It’s in those moments of parental fails prompted by spontaneous mishaps and humiliating hijinks, that I remember the only way to bounce back is with a dose of love.
Manners Matter: Part 1 of the Gentlemen in Training series
PC or Not PC: Part 2 of the Gentlemen In Training series
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Photo by juan pablo rodriguez on Unsplash