Gentlemen in Training
The Case for Manners for Today’s Young Men – Part 2
Though I didn’t know it at the time, my first childhood best friend was also my first bully. We played well together for the most part, but as the years went on, his early crude but humorous behaviors eventually evolved into full-blown manipulation. As across-the-street neighbors and classmates all throughout elementary school, it was difficult to escape him. Starting in second grade, I bore the brunt of the sarcasm and belittlement he directed at me while others were around, and by fifth grade, as we began to part ways in academic performance, he privately tried to sabotage my school work.
All ended well by sixth grade, when we were sorted into different classes, and onto middle school when we went to two different schools. The lesson though, with the help of my parents, teachers, and the school principal involved, was that his influence was bad on me, and that I needed to not only identify it, but distance myself from it.
I look back and feel fortunate that my early brush with a toxic character taught me how to detect them and avoid them later on. Having a primed jerk detector has helped me immensely with judging character, other people’s words and actions, and honoring both mine and others’ feelings. Empathy, in fact, is one of the crucial traits of being a gentleman. Without it, man is not gentle.
This strikes right at the heart of this absurd debate our nation is having about being “PC” or not. Political Correctness isn’t about applying the appropriate label to someone because you’re told to, it’s about showing decency and respect for all. It’s about human dignity. How we transact as humans is everything. If we honor our differences, celebrate our strengths, and forgive our faults, we live as gentlemen. Any other way is straight-up bullying.
Manners Matter: Part 1 of the Gentlemen in Training series
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Photo by Jason Rosewell on Unsplash