Are the Swedes wrong to encourage gender equality by forcing boys to play with toys traditionally meant for girls?
With the holiday season fast approaching, the “War on Boys”, (as well as on Christmas), is heating up, spurred by a recent decision of the Swedish government to encourage “gender equality” in a number of areas, including toys. In response to government pressure and changing Swedish cultural norms, TOP-TOY Group, a licensee of the Toys “R” Us brand, has published a gender-neutral toy catalog for the Christmas season in Sweden. The publication includes images of girls playing with toy guns and pictures of boys playing with toy blow-dryers.
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As might be expected, the Americans, who have strong views about all matters Swedish, have taken up arms on the matter. The first major American opinion piece on the subject, “You Can Give a Boy a Doll, but You Can’t Make Him Play With It“ by Christina Hoff Sommers, appeared on the website of the Atlantic on December 6.
In her article, Sommers, a resident scholar at the American Enterprise Institute, whose book The War Against Boys caused its own stir some years ago, challenged what would appear on the face of it to be utopian silliness on the part of the Swedes. Sommers argues that innate differences between boys and girls, and hence the things that they like to play with, do exist.
“[Boys and girls] are different,” she argues, “and nothing short of radical and sustained behavior modification could significantly change their elemental play preferences.”
“Children, with few exceptions, are powerfully drawn to sex-stereotyped play.”
Addressing the troubling issue of how any society could enforce such a mandate, Sommers makes the point that, “to succeed, the Swedish parents, teachers and authorities are going to have to police—incessantly—boys’ powerful attraction to large-group, rough-and-tumble play and girls’ affinity for intimate theatrical play. ”
For the first two days after it appeared, the post was featured on the Atlantic’s front page and more than 2200 readers “recommended” it. It has also been on the Atlantic’s “Most Popular” list for two days.
The non-Swedish reaction to the Swede’s move has been harsh and strong, on both sides of the issue. Just google “Swedish toys” for a taste. In the meantime, Sommers’ critique has garnered support from a number of conservative American commentators, including Andrew Sullivan, John Tierney, Byron York, Eli Lake, Mark Perry, and David Frum. Sullivan, while generally supportive of Sommer’s view, had his own unique personal perspective on the matter as an openly gay man:
“By showing that gender non-conformism is not abhorrent, and even part of the childhood landscape, a little bit of freedom opens up for some children, and a little less stigma. I’m ok with that.”
“And the stigma does hurt,” remarks Sullivan. “I remember my grandmother watching my younger brother run around the house with a toy truck at Christmas, while I was withdrawn and reading. ‘Well at least you have one normal son,’ she told my mother, who was, as I recall, speechless. And a little part of my 8-year-old self-esteem shattered.”
I had a similar experience as a child. One Christmas, I asked for a doll. My horrified mother instructed my father to buy me a chemistry set instead. Since even at that early age I had more interest in the arts than the sciences, I had no clue what to do with that chemistry set, nor any interest in it. I cannot remember how it came to its demise, but to that it surely came. Undeterred, the next Christmas I asked for a kitchen set. This time my father, oddly enough, overruled my mother and bought me a kitchen set. I could not have been more delighted.
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The issues of gender are long-standing and extraordinarily complex. These days they have been made even more so by changing definitions of what it means to be a man, or a woman. The roles of both men and women in heterosexual relationships are changing in ways that blur the lines between “masculine” and “feminine”. At the same time the very definition of marriage is changing rapidly as same sex unions are legalized.
Then, there is the ever increasing issue of gay parenting.
What it means to be male or female is now up for grabs. That’s a bit chaotic, but in that chaos we need to listen to both and all sides of the debate about how best to rear our children. In the end we all have their best interests at heart, as well as the best interests of our society.
In the meantime, I say that if the Swedes don’t stop with this sort of silliness, they’re going to jeopardize their OECD Better Life rankings . Those show the Swedes are ahead of us Americans in education, environment, civic engagement, health, life satisfaction and work/life balance. But all this nonsense. What is wrong with those people?
Read more on Dads & Families.
—Photo libertygrace0/Flickr
As an educator in the field of human sexuality; a parent who has raised a child into adulthood with all the hallmarks of ‘ success’ ; and as a man who has himself, explore the notions of gender; sex; gender identity and gender expression I have to fully support Paula! Gender and Sex are seperate and distinct – yes, they influence one another – yet from a biological and sociological perspective they are seperate. Gender identity and Gender Expression are also seperate and distinct. All fo them exist along a spectrum, from hyper masculine to hyper feminine and everyting in… Read more »
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First: “to allow”. Really. Who wasn’t allowing. Bogus construct. Second, “forcing” or not “forcing”. For an example, look at the US. A woman, not an official, not elected, commissioned, or anything but married to an important person–POTUS–expressed an interest in childhood nutrition. Nothing about “forcing”, but school boards and nutritionists, some because they were busybody nannystaters, some because they feared same, some because they wanted to look good to The Important People, got involvd and kids were “forced” to either eat unpalatable meals at school or bring their own–once or twice subject to adult criticism. Not a single law was… Read more »
Wonder if this will close the gap- almost 2.5/1 between male & female suicides in Sweden?
We already know there is “nothing wrong” with boys playing with non-traditonal toys. It’s been happening for generations.
It is getting official and social attention now because boys are not turning out as the Anointed wish they were.
Girls, on the other hand, do not require such remodeling.
First of all – if you haven’t read the entire article or, as seems to be the case with some of the commenters, more than the first sentence, please don’t leave a comment. Secondly – this has nothing to do with ‘forcing’ any child to do anything. It is merely suggesting that there is nothing wrong with a child playing with a toy that is traditionally thought to be for the other gender. So that maybe in a few years time a boy won’t be thought of as abnormal for not wanting a truck or wanting a doll instead of… Read more »
I love the idea that people don’t read beyond the first paragraph – and should not leave comments you find unwelcome. How Un Swedish of you. Maybe there are other lessons to be learned such as the Swedish Constitutional Right to Anonymity and Free Speech – balanced against such things as Hate Speech on many grounds including sex/gender. It’s odd how a natural progression of law and social behaviour ends up with a wish to show that Sterotypes tool for the assessment of other people, and even a bad place to make judgement calls from or decide who should and… Read more »
The commentators are so far missing the Swedes’ purposes. One is to allow children to be able to make non-traditional choices in a value-neutral environment. Another purpose is not , as the comments seem to assume, to force girls to choose boys toys or boys to choose girls toys. It is simply to give permission for both sexes to act on their own natural impulses. Not unlike same-sex marriage, the point is to allow kids and adults to experience peace and joy in their natural space, even if it does not comport with the norms of the larger population. Gay… Read more »
I think the lead in to the article is what threw people, I also think this is where a lot of them stopped reading and they certainly didn’t go on to read Sweden’s policy on gender equality
Viva Sweden indeed!
Sex and gender are not the same thing and the terms should not be interchanged. Our concept of gender is interfered with from the moment we are born. People interact differently with babies they perceive as being boys than those they perceive as being girls. Girls are held in nurtured positions, such as cradled, and told they are such things as pretty and good. Boys are held in positions of power, such as standing, and told they are such things as big and strong. Blue for boys, pink for girls? Well only since WWII, before that is was the soft… Read more »
“It is not possible to scientifically prove gender is natural. To do this it would have to be shown that a gender characteristic is consistent across all cultures and you would have to extract or societal influences. It may be surprising, but this has not been done.” If it has not been proven gender is all inclusively in the genes, then it has also not been proven that gender is entirely a social construct either. Which puts it in the realm of theory. I don’t see anything wrong with boys having a choice (and to have those choices embraced by… Read more »
If it has not been proven gender is all inclusively in the genes, then it has also not been proven that gender is entirely a social construct either. Which puts it in the realm of theory. If it’s only theoretical, why are so many willing to experiment on humans and even demand the right to do so? Are well all being treated as lab rats for the convenience of some people with a theory? Using basic scientific methodology there does need to be a control group – so where are they and can I elect out of the Quasi Human… Read more »
‘This is about the presumption that boys are broken dysfunctional girls and female superiority.’
No it isn’t, read the policy. It is about trying to free male and female from gender stereotypes.
Some people have indeed interpreted this policy in extremist way, just like with any ideology, but this is not reflective of the entire society.
@Paula Calleja
” it’s not possible to prove that gender is natural ”
Reality, supported by science begs to differ, miss.
Google “the story of David Reimer ” or better yet since Christine Sommer’s is not an authority on gender/genetics, how about hearing it from the experts in the fundamentals of evolutionary genetic & gender psychology, unless you would like to believe only what agrees with your ideology only!! In that case the earth is flat because it is when you look at it.
Firstly, I appreciate people having different views on the matter, I don’t appreciate being spoken to in such a patronising way, especially on a website which is trying to encourage ‘good men’, not the those (men or women, which ever you are) who try to belittle people (in such ways as calling them ‘miss’) in order to silence them. I provided references of some the sources which inform my ideas. Did you do as you advised me have a look at them before you went on the attack? I’m guessing because they are both novel-length academic works that you didn’t,… Read more »
@Paula Calleja Since anything I might say might be misconstrued to a personal attack instead of the issue, I will try to make it short Sir/madam/miss/miss’s (or whatever you’re). I am unable to paste it on my phone but you can see it if you Google & find a list of YouTube clips called ” equality & the gender paradox ” originated in Norway. No offense intended but the nurture vs nature when it comes to gender is stifled by political correctness even in academia due to social theories & ideologies that has more to do with beliefs then science… Read more »
@Notbuyingit
Calling a woman “miss” as if she was a little girl to be told off is completely patronising and wasn’t misinterpreted by @Paula Calleja. You have tried to patronise and belittle someone in order to get your point across and then acted as if they misinterpreted you when they called you up on it.
FYI Youtupe doesn’t count as peer reviewed literature.
@Emily
First, Paula can speak for herself, second, there was no disrespect intended or a malicious intent period & being addressed as miss or miss’s does not necessarily mean patronizing, it depends on tone for most people, for some one like you with a complex of gender inferiority it can be only patronising third & last it’s none of your business.
@Notbuying it I accept that there was no ill intent to call me ‘miss’, however, this is how it seemed to me and apparently others, so accepting some responsibility in your part wouldn’t go astray. You are commenting on a public forum so it’s everyone’s business and it is their right to comment. I actually agree with Emily on this. The problem with documentaries in general, and Youtube in particular, is that we take them as authoritative because of the genre they fall in. Mostly, though, they are not based on peer-reviewed academic literature – it often comes down to… Read more »
Mostly, though, they are not based on peer-reviewed academic literature – it often comes down to who is able to get funding.
Uhhmmm ..so that makes it about money – and that leads to media manipulation media buys and just plain old politics.
So in science – there are no funding fights, manipulated by media and politics with biases being used to have supposed peers decide what gets funded and what research is strangled at birth?
Wow – how did you get to utopia and when is the next flight?
@Paula Calleja With all due respect Paula the academic peer review you’re alluding to has been done & on going in the scientific research circles that have been doing the research on evolutionary gender psychology, all I pointed out to you is the predominant & agreed upon by the largest number of experts in that specific field, furthermore you & I know for I fact that as much as a lot of information on the internet in general & YouTube specifically can be trash nevertheless at the same time not every information, link, essays, …etc, is junk, Paula , so… Read more »
Well we will have to agree to disagree because I don’t believe that the majority of academic literature disagree with me at all — and it is most certainly not fringe or a single academic voice, In fact I gave a couple of examples in my original post, I can supply many more. I believe it is you who is misrepresenting the facts — especially as these supposed “facts ‘ and ‘experts’ you allude to remain nameless.
At any rate you’re not going to agree with me and I’m not gong to agree with you.
@Paula Calleja First of all , every Scientist /researcher , in the clip did get his name & the institution he works in mentioned there with the dates included, there is no need to misrepresent anything Paula, the difference between my point & point is quite clear for anyone open-minded enough & not blinded by faith & a belief in an ideological based argument & social theory, its not much different then religion , it’s futile. Evolutionary gender psychology seems to show a strong predisposition towards gender roles with very few variations that even then have basis along the same… Read more »
@Not buying it (re: comment below) The references I gave were not based on weak social science, which you would know had you read them – but you give yourself away because, had you read them, you would know that they actually spend a lot of time discounting the research and theories of the leading theorists of natural gender and raising questions about the legitimacy of so much of this research that so many take as law. The Norwegian documentary you suggested was interesting, but it was, just like all documentaries, extremely biased and I found several flaws in his… Read more »
What my boy likes is what my boy likes, if the government wants to indoctrinate my son into any ideology that I don’t agree with as a parent I fight it tooth & nail plus I definitely tell & show my son way these politically correct ideologies are wrong by many examples, specifically to avoid believing in hate filled anti male ideologies for example.
My sister is the mother of two young adult men. From the time they were born she diligently and consistently discouraged gun play of any sort. She did not buy them guns, would not let them play with boys that played with guns and if they picked up a stick and pretended it was a gun she would gently reprimand them and remind them that “we don’t want to pretend to hurt anything or anybody”. I can proudly say one is a United States Marine and the other is a firearms instructor of a local police department. My sister is… Read more »
This is yet another version of the nature vs. nurture debate. In this case, however, it has run amok. Whereas I can understand how in this more “enlightened” day and age many of us feel boys should be allowed to play with dolls and girls to play with trucks if they so desire it, having a government agency impose rules and regulations implies someone–and I don’t know who—deems what nature has created as “wrong.” And I fear the political agenda has targeted boys NOT girls. The experiment we’re engaging in—the blurring of the gender lines to the point of extinction… Read more »
Kristian, what you just described was exactly my thoughts towards the ulterior motives of this “Gender-Neutral” enforcement.
I wouldn’t have any problem IF these boys were allowed the choice. But they weren’t. Government pressure enforced it so I find nothing genuine about this move. In addition to sensing that their approach to sexism is to subtly make it all about girls and their feelings of oppression. They want boys to play with dolls because their choice of toys is misogynistic and a blight on the feelings of girls. Not about offering them options and letting THEM make the decision.
You need to read further than the lead in (there is an entire article after it). Government pressure lead to SOME toys stores including SOME pictures of boys and girls playing with toys usually meant for the other gender–no one was forcing the kiddies to anything. Actually, they were just broadening the selection for them.
What’s more, this wasn’t official mandate, this is how one toy store interpreted the Swedish policy on gender equality, which, funnily enough, doesn’t mention anything about forcing boys to play with dolls.
Paula – you mean there is no mass conspiracy against boys and girls to make them all androgynous Lego players?
Astonishing isn’t it?
I will have put the ongoing end of reality down to yet another infestation of factoids and the worship of the great icon #FatSparrowCult.
My five-year-old daughter just asked for the Lego dump truck. It’s not gender prohibitive–it’s cost prohibitive. But I thanked her for proving Sommers and her ilk wrong, which is pretty easy to do for a five year old.
Duffer Do you understand how the science of numbers reaches a conclusion or a fact in any study that shows predisposition towards anything by any group, entity, …etc, . You’re daughter asking for a Lego truck doesn’t mean it applies to the majority of girls her age, neither does my son if he asked for a doll to play with applies to the majority of boys, Sir. Are you searching for the truth or are you searching for things that agrees with what you like to be the truth?? If it is so be it nothing including the truth starring… Read more »
“Forcing” boys to play with gender-neutral toys? What, under penalty of torture? At gunpoint?
This is as stupid as shooting a teenager in the head because she wants to go to school.
“Forcing boys to play with gender-neutral toys? What, under penalty of torture? At gunpoint?” Well, Joanne, I would call it forced too because we’re talking about freedom of choice here. Boys should be allowed to play with whatever toy they want. If they want to play with Gi-joes, cars, etc they shouldn’t be deprived of that choice. Additionally, if they want, and I emphasize “If they want” profusely, to play with a doll, easy-bake oven, then let them do it too. Again, they made the CHOICE to do it. Same thing with girls. If nothing but an agenda is involved,… Read more »
Silent. Are you nuts? The only live and let live is about sex. Nothing else escapes the inspection and criticism of The Anointed, and likely a government program.
Remember. Only sex is live and let live. Anything else, personal choice is too dangerous.
This is ridiculous. When will people learn to live and let live? Unless it is hurting somebody, there is no justifiable reason to act like this. Such actions are as immature than the children that they are trying to protect.
If you gave my five-year-old granddaughter a GI Joe and a dump truck, she’s have Joe marry one of her princesses and use the dump truck to carry the wedding party.
I think we need a federal program, dammit.
The publication includes images of girls playing with toy guns and pictures of boys playing with toy blow-dryers.
I haven’t seen such a disparity in arms since the fall of the Iron Curtain.
War On Boys? There he is with a pair of Curling Tongs Vs Her with a Walther PPK. What can he do to win – give her a bad hair day?
I suppose it depends on what you mean by “freedom”. Or “choice”.