Combine 2 dads, 1 daughter, some graham crackers, a whisk, and egg wash. Makes 1 delicious Saturday afternoon.
It’s Saturday morning at the grocery store. Trevor, my partner, has to work. Grace and I have decided to spend the day baking peanut butter s’mores turnovers and cream-cheese lemon bars. She’s got the list and pen in hand. As she reads off the first item, I know that we could save a bunch of time if I start reading and heading to the right aisle—but I decide not to change her approach. I let her read from the list one item at a time, mark each item off once we have found it, and then move on to the next.
“Gra … I don’t know this word, Papa.”
We’ll sound it out together: graham … graham crackers …
“Oh! I like those!” she replies.
Back home, I unload the groceries and Grace pulls her stepstool up to the counter. I turn on some music and we begin. As we go through the recipe and get our ingredients and supplies together, Grace asks many questions:
“Why do they call this a whisk, Papa?”
“‘Egg wash’! That sounds funny, why ‘egg wash’?”
I like that she asks these questions. I like that she is curious and that she wants to know. I love seeing that a-ha! look on her beautiful 6-year-old face when she gets something for the first time.
I am not sure at this point if Grace will love cooking—or even grocery shopping, for that matter—as she grows into adulthood. For today, it’s a great way for us to bond, teach, and learn. I’m teaching her how to cook and follow a recipe. She’s teaching me how to be patient, how to let go a little, and how to let her follow the list her way.
♦◊♦
It’s Sunday afternoon, and Trevor and I need to get dressed for an Oscar party. Grace’s mom will be here at 4:30 p.m. to pick her up. By four, Trevor is dressed, looking mighty handsome in his grey blazer and stippled shirt. He sits on the couch with Grace, watching some Oscar pre-show. He asks Grace which dresses she likes.
I’m finally dressed and come into the living room to get Trevor’s approval. Grace is first to comment: “Out of the men today, I think Papa T wins!” I guess she prefers his lighter look to my black tuxedo jacket. Trevor and I smile at each other, and then he leans over and gives her a big hug. I love that she feels free in expressing herself and knowing that her opinion doesn’t take away from our love for each other. I hope this is something we are teaching her and something with which she will always feel comfortable.
We are constantly teaching and learning. As parents, partners, and families, we all have something to learn and teach each other.
And, I have to say, the lemon bars were amazing! We did a good job, Grace.
This story originally appeared in The Next Family, where author Joey Uva is a frequent contributor.
—Photo norwichnuts/Flickr