It’s Okay To Cry
That particular Saturday, things were way off. I was trying desperately to detach my kids from their iPads to go for a hike.
After much groveling, we finally left the house. Soon after, the complaints started.
It was too hot. There were bees. One son quit before we set foot on the trail.
Later, I found another activity—expensive I might add—and then the other one feigned sudden exhaustion and wanted to stay home.
I was deeply sad and bothered by my kids’ desire to stay on screen rather than go outside and be in nature, be in the real world.
So, I spent the rest of the day navigating their moods, and trying to keep mine at bay. I had to keep moving, doing anything to keep myself from losing my temper.
The sadness boiled deep inside of me, and on yet another afternoon activity to a local mall (where I even tried “retail therapy” as a means to calm myself), I felt a cry bubbling up.
Now, for me, tears don’t come on demand. They’re usually triggered by something totally innocuous. An old photo of a distant relative. Seeing someone in pain. The riff of a song.
Songs always do it. In fact, I have certain songs that always trigger the waterworks.
On the way to said mall, I played all the greatest sad hits. I felt those tears and the trembling lip, but nothing came up. It was actually quite disappointing. And sad, but not in the sad way I was going for.
But later that evening, over pizza with the one kid that finally left the house with me, two mezcals inside of my belly, and reading an article my dear friend wrote about her experience coming to the US as a Chinese immigrant, the tears poured out of me.
It was an ugly cry. Short, but ugly. And it felt OH. SO. GOOD. I needed it. I had to release that energy that was stuck inside of me. And it took the oddest things to get it out. Alcohol, a few slices of pizza, a heartfelt story.
My son didn’t say much. He was, of course, in front of his screen. I tried to level with him, but he’s too young to know. He might get there one day. In fact, I know he will.
Something will set him off, and it will be the most unusual thing. A screen break. A video game crash. His own father, crying into his tequila. He’ll one day understand the therapeutic benefit of a good cry, and how men need it. We need to let the tears flow whenever and however they come.
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This Post is republished on Medium.
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Photo credit: iStock
