There comes a time when you can’t sacrifice yourself for the good of other people. It just won’t work. These two gay dads figured that out.
—
Donovan Gutierrez and Eric Alvarado both grew up with traditional Mexican backgrounds, where marrying women and starting a family wasn’t just encouraged, it was expected.
And half of that equation resonated — both wanted badly to be fathers, but they knew deep down that they were gay. They both sacrificed their true selves and tried to lead the lives they believed were meant for them.
But cold reality has a way of creeping into even the best-made plans.
Eric was married for two years, during which time he and his wife separated three times before finally breaking up for good.
Donovan lasted nine years in his marriage. Three years ago, he and his wife divorced.
Two gay dads each with a kid and an ex-wife — if that’s not a setup for a feel-good romantic indie film, we’re not sure what is.
But their roads weren’t neatly paved. With parents who didn’t understand their decisions to come out and custody battles playing out, the stress was real.
As time passed, things got smoother. And that’s when the two met online and discovered how much they had in common.
“It seems like we never stopped talking. Every time I went out on a date or whatever, he came into my mind,” Donovan remembers.
Their connection grew, and they finally decided to merge their families, embarking on a new chapter together with their kids.
Now they both share a home in California and plan to get married.
“We wanted a traditional family per se,” Eric says. “I’m really looking forward to it. The way I’m looking at it, we’re starting from step one.”
Adam is the author of The Old Soul Blog, which is dedicated to the memory of his daughter, Layla. His writings mostly focus on personal growth and the psychology of living. But the occasional sports story consumes him. Adam is the author of one novel and a collection of essays to date. You can follow him on Twitter and Facebook.
