Dr. David Andrews discusses the origins of his new novel “My Father’s Day Gift,” the significance of Father’s Day as a holiday, and his advice for new fathers.
—
Dr. David Andrews is one of the nation’s foremost experts on education, particularly the importance of fatherly influences on the emerging lives of children. He’s a professor at three major research universities and the Dean of John Hopkins University of Education, which was just ranked the #1 Graduate School of Education in the country by US News and World Report, and he has been recognized with numerous distinguished education industry awards.
David’s new novel, My Father’s Day Gift, is a tribute to fathers everywhere and highlights the profound, yet oft-ignored influence of male role models on the character of men. On May 20th at 7 pm, David will be launching his novel at Barnes & Noble Booksellers in New York City (2289 Broadway, New York, NY 10024). The event will be held in conjunction with a book fair to benefit Big Brothers Big Sisters of New York City. (For more information on his book, you can visit www.myfathersdaygift.com.)
Here, David speaks to The Good Men Project about My Father’s Day Gift, mentors, and more.
♦◊♦
What inspired you to write My Father’s Day Gift?
Men, especially fathers, need to realize that their fully engaged presence matters to the future of our next generation. We need to acknowledge that those who fathered and mentored us mattered, and we need to continually remind ourselves and one another that we matter to those follow. The gift of positive influence we received from our fathers and male role models needs to be acknowledged. It is best acknowledged by fulfilling our obligation to pass these gifts of positive influence along to the next generation.
Why is Father’s Day, as a holiday, important? What makes it more than a reason to buy your dad a greeting card and a tie?
Father’s Day should be an opportunity for us all to celebrate the importance of fatherhood and to sincerely thank engaged fathers for their extraordinary impact. Dads love cards and ties, but these gifts pale in comparison to quality time spent together on this special day. Time with one’s father is a precious gift.
You mention in the opening of your novel that the day you learned about your father’s cancer diagnosis, you began writing the story that would become My Father’s Day Gift. How different is the final story from the story you started writing that night?
True, I began writing the story when my father was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. I wanted to memorialize his importance in shaping my life. The memories and story they provoked became the vehicle and it gave me a chance to symbolically recognize my own father’s impact on my life. While the basic storyline stayed the same, I soon found myself exploring the impact that other important men had made in my life. I expanded the story to include these influences. It became important to memorialize them all.
You refer to My Father’s Day Gift as a fictionalized memoir and discuss how that gave you the license to blend together the qualities of several father and mentor figures from your own life in the novel. That being said, how much of the lead character, Adam Cherry, comes from your own life? Is he also an amalgamation of several characters?
Most good stories come from “near real” experiences. While the book is fiction, most of the accounts have some foundation from real events in my life. Fictionalizing the story allowed me to enhance the relevance to others and to include a broader range of role models. Adam, in many ways, represents a typical family guy who, despite his love for his family, looks forward to a little unstructured time alone. In that sense, he represents many guys who sometimes find themselves overwhelmed with family responsibilities and an ever-growing list of chores.
Your novel does a wonderful job memorializing the impact of the mentors in your life. What were some of the most important lessons that your personal mentors passed onto you at a young age?
The overall message was that everyone has redeeming characteristics worthy of modelling. Some reveal these characteristics more directly than others. The trick is to discover these characteristics and celebrate their value through imitating them in your actions. I was very fortunate to have a substantial number of positive male role models in my life. I could pick and choose the most desirable traits of each and did not have to limit myself to modelling myself after a singular image. Looking for those specific traits that admire in an individual and finding a way to imitate those behaviors is a powerful way to create a unique identity, while taking forward the best from those around you.
One of the overriding messages in My Father’s Day Gift is “Every interaction matters.” In your experience, how do the best mentors keep that message in mind?
For good or for bad, children are watching. They aren’t always listening, but they are always watching! I am convinced that it is sometimes the smallest, seemingly insignificant act that resonates with a young person and shapes their world view forever. Daily acts of kindness and aggression are equally difficult to forget. Lectures on the virtues of kindness versus aggression are much easier to forget or simply discount. I tried to remind myself that there is always the possibility of a watchful young eye trying to determine the most appropriate next move. What he sees in my choices may influence the ultimate outcome.
Many young men grow up without positive male mentor figures in their lives. In your opinion, what is lost when a young man matures without a mentor in his life?
We learn so much from watching the behavior of others and the reactions they evoke. The lack of any substantial positive male role models can lead to indecision and uncertainty in life choices. Not everything needs to be pure trial and error. Those who have witnessed others positively navigate adulthood have a good starting point for their own decision making.
How important are mentors to how men learn to interact with the opposite sex and/or their significant others?
I will have to admit My Father’s Day Gift doesn’t delve into this topic. However, my intuitive understanding is that modeling the appropriate respect and treatment of the opposite sex can create a solid foundation for young people as they begin entering into intimate relationships.
Your novel ends with a list of ways to honor the mentors in your life and a list of resources for men who wish to become mentors. Why did you choose to end your novel with those lists?
I didn’t want to have people’s attention and end up being too subtle about the messages I was trying to convey with the book. I decided that the list and resources would be a good way to remind the readers about the importance of acknowledging your mentors, and provide some suggestions on how they might pass their good fortune on to the next generation.
If you were speaking to a young, soon-to-be father, about to have his first son, what advice would you give him?
First, give as much time as you possible can. Second, enjoy that time. The precious time with our fathers passes far too quickly.