Anyone who has attempted to foray into the great wide world of dating knows that, when it comes to flirting, cheesy pickup lines just don’t cut it. Attracting a partner can be tricky, and there are many pitfalls one can fall into. But when it comes down to it, flirting is just an evolutionary tactic to acquire a mate for reproduction.
In this blog post, we will explore 10 psychologically proven flirting strategies that actually work! These strategies are backed by scientific research and can significantly enhance your dating game.
1. **Eye Contact: The Window to Attraction**
Eye contact is key when it comes to demonstrating your attraction to another person. When we make eye contact with a prospective partner, we are actually searching for evidence of their attraction to us through the psychological response of pupil dilation. This is also why staring into one another’s eyes can often feel so intimate. Therefore, one of the best ways to let someone know you’re interested in them is to gaze into their big brown, blue, or green eyes.
2. **Wear Red: The Color of Desire**
Not only is red an eye-catching color that flatters many different skin tones, but red is also a symbol of lust and sexuality. Studies show that when both men and women wear red, they appear more attractive to the opposite sex. This may be due to social expectations. However, psychologist Adam Pasteur suggests that our attraction to red may be a hangover from humans’ evolutionary past, as animals, such as female baboons, display patches of bright red skin to indicate that they are ready to mate.
3. **Be Funny: Humor as a Magnet**
Humor is actually a huge factor in the search for a potential mate. University of New Mexico psychologist Professor Jeffrey Miller suggests that being funny is one of the key ways we decide how attractive a partner is. This is because, to be truly funny, someone must be able to think quickly and be creative, skills that are extremely necessary for survival. To be humorous is to be smart, so telling a joke could just result in you getting that date you wanted.
4. **Play Hard to Get: The Allure of Mystery**
Studies show that when we’re unsure of how much someone likes us, we actually like them more than when we’re told they like us a lot. This could be due to the fact that playing hard to get makes someone seem more desirable and sometimes even out of our league. When someone seems too needy, we’re likely to believe we can do better, so it may be better to act aloof.
5. **Smile (for Women): A Sign of Warmth and Health**
Are you a woman? Smile! Not only does a smile exhibit a sense of humor and a caring nature, but it also displays good health. Research from the University of British Columbia suggests that men find smiling women more attractive than prideful, possibly because of its association with submission and maternal urges.
6. **Brood (for Men): Embrace the Mystery**
Are you a man? Brood. The stereotype is true! In the same study from the University of British Columbia, researchers found that women rated smiling men as the least attractive compared with prideful and shameful-looking men. Therefore, acting like a “bad boy” may win you a mate, regardless of whether you’re actually bad or not.
7. **Mirror Body Language: Subtle Connection**
55% of attraction communication is made through body language, and one of the most subtle yet effective methods of flirting with someone is to mirror their actions. This is because we unconsciously copy those we’re attracted to as a sign we’re interested in what they’re saying. Mirroring someone demonstrates that we have good communication skills but also that we’re invested in their thoughts and feelings. This is also a way of knowing whether someone is interested in you. If they copy your mirroring, they may just reciprocate your feelings.
8. **Be a Smooth Talker: Pitch and Tone Matters**
Pitch and tone have more to do with flirting than one may think. Research from MIT suggests that men are more attracted to women who vary their tone at which they speak. Women whose voices go up and down in frequency receive more romantic interest from men than those who speak with a flatter tone. The same study also found that women were more attracted to men who interjected when they were speaking with phrases such as “I see,” “Okay,” and “Yup.” This not only suggests dominance but also understanding.
9. **Confidence is Key: Signal Your Confidence**
A study by Dr. Monica Moore of Webster University found that, when observing real-life people in bars and shopping malls, it was not the most physically appealing people that were most often approached for flirtation. Instead, those who signaled their confidence through basic flirting techniques, such as smiling, were more likely to attract others.
10. **Touch Them: The Power of Physical Contact**
Most research has demonstrated that touching a person can increase their compliance to complete a wide variety of requests, and this may extend to the world of flirtation! Dr. Moore found that when a young male confederate in a nightclub asked young women to dance with him, his request was most likely to be followed if he touched a woman’s forearm for one to two seconds. This could be because tactile contact is associated with dominance. Later, when the women were asked to complete a survey about their experience, a high score of dominance was associated with the tactile contact!
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These 10 psychologically proven flirting strategies can significantly improve your dating game. Remember, successful flirting is not just about physical appearance but also about understanding and using psychological cues to your advantage. So, the next time you find yourself in a dating situation, give these strategies a try. And if you have your own tips for flirting, let us know in the comments below!
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This post was previously published on medium.com.
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From The Good Men Project on Medium
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