Authentic, real, and genuine compliments are where it’s at for your next encounter.
You are about to have your first date with the girl of your dreams. It took you months to woo her and she finally said yes. So here is the big question: should you or should you not compliment her? The answer is ABSOLUTELY.
Women like and anticipate compliments from their dates. HOWEVER, too many compliments make you sound needy. Not enough compliments make you selfish and thoughtless. So what is appropriate?
Compliments must be authentic and real
If you don’t mean it – don’t say it. Women are very perceptive and intuitive. They will know if your compliment is not coming from the right place.
Compliment effort, not a physical attribute
Notice something unusual or something she put her effort into and compliment that – for example, if she has an unusual ring, or if her hair is done in a curious way. Women appreciate you noticing little things that many men don’t.
Avoid complimenting beauty in beautiful women.
If a woman is exceptionally stunning, she knows it. She has heard it all and she is accustomed to men falling at her feet in awe. So don’t. Instead, complement her knowledge of world history, or ability to ride a horse, etc. Compliments should be earned.
Only say each compliment once
Don’t keep carrying on about her smile. You may compliment her on her beautiful smile once, but then let it go. If you dwell on any one feature, you will start to seem fixated.
Compliment non-physical traits
For example, you may compliment her on the way she drives a car through midtown traffic or delicately cuts her food or recites poetry. Pay attention to these little things and compliment her. It will make you look interested and considerate.
Relate to the Compliment
If you love traveling – compliment her on how well traveled she is. If you are into politics, compliment her knowledge of local government affairs. This way you are not only handing out compliments but are highlighting characteristics and interests you have in common.
Compliment beauty in a woman who is less than perfect
After all, there is a reason you are physically attracted to her, right? Make sure it is spontaneous and sincere, however. Otherwise, I will seem too forced and too staged.
Do not compliment body parts
Unless you’re talking about her eyes, leave specific parts out of the conversation. Saying things like “your breasts look great in that tight blouse” will sound sleazy and are an instant turnoff. Don’t say “these heels make your legs look long.” Instead, opt for “you look beautiful in this dress.”
Is she really the most beautiful woman you’ve ever seen? Probably not. So don’t say it. Few women will believe it to be sincere, and it will make you sound more desperate than genuine.
Don’t overdo it
If you dish out one compliment after another, not only will you make the woman uncomfortable, you will sound less sincere and more desperate.
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This piece first appeared on YourTango and is reprinted here with permission from the author.