In a world where video vixens command attention, who’s training our kids how to find mates that would rather bare their souls for love than just their bodies?
A few days ago, my 10 year old daughter asked me if they had any “wild whores” in Georgia. We recently moved to the state and she’s pretty inquisitive. I must admit the question took me for a loop as I tried to hold back my laughter because obviously she must of meant something else. When I asked her curiously….”uh, what do you mean wild whores?” She responded, “mommy, like wild pigs.” I was certainly relieved that she meant pigs but concerned that she used the “W” word. I told her there probably were but the word she meant to say was boars. Innocently, she replied “oh, well I thought the girls were whores and the boy pigs were boars.” After I walked away privately laughing at what at first seemed childlike innocence, my mind started wondering……where did she hear the “W” word anyway?
It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to see that the words “b*tch, whore and hoe” are thrown around television, movies and radio as if they’re music notes. As much as we parents try to use parental controls, there is always some television show or song on the radio we don’t catch until our kids have heard what was once called “colorful language.” If it’s not on television, it’s in someone’s home.
Today’s world presents words we used to think were at the pinnacle of disgusting or disrespectful as nothing more than standard issue. I’m saddened by the lackadaisical attitudes many have towards shielding kids from disparaging words such as these when watching tv, listening to the radio or speaking in front of children. I have mostly gone to ipod and custom playlists on iHeart radio to avoid such things form happening when I my kids around. Television isn’t quite as easy to completely insulate them from. Seemingly innocent children’s television today is filled with kissing and sexual innuendo. Sometimes you can even find words like b*itch, or hoe that slips through and no one seems to have a problem with it. Our music videos and award shows have turned into sex driven spectacles that teach kids to think all we do as adults is think about, talk about sex and engage in SEX!
This all makes me curious. How are today’s young ladies supposed to build a positive self-image about themselves when in many arenas they are encouraged to be less than that? If not directly encouraged to drop it like it’s hot, they are simply rejected by many of the males they are attracted to because they don’t fit the part. Meanwhile, what is happening with our boys? Females that fit the “ B.H.W.” titles in the past were not considered “wife material.” That role was saved for what they deemed as “good girls.” Well stop the presses….good girls as they’re called, don’t seem to be attracting the long term relationships type guys at the same rate as the other young ladies even though we know the rump shaker type relationships seldom turn our well. Whose responsibility is it to teach our sons to chose their mates wisely? Whose responsibility is it to teach them a relationship mate is supposed to add value to their lives? Who is teaching them about relationship partnerships and how to respect women as the portal from which life is born?
It is the job of all of us to take on this task. We cannot be so tired after a day of work that we don’t teach our children how to dress in a respectful way while still allowing them to have freedom of expression. We cannot be so disengaged that we don’t have powerful discussions with our sons and daughters about their own self-respect and defining relationship values. We need to teach our children that no one should be called any of those names nor should females be expected to act in a manner that those titles are fitting. We also need to teach our sons to identify qualities that will last long past the great sexual encounter when looking for a mate. Who is teaching our children that every encounter is not a relationship and that friendship should always be the beginning when you look to build something that matters? Who is helping our kids to understand the impact of sexual desire unchecked in a world full of HIV/AIDS? But again who is teaching our sons to marry b*itches & hoes? Unfortunately, as a society, we are. Photo: ddo TyByhpargotoh/flickr