“A father’s goodness is higher than the mountain, a mother’s goodness deeper than the sea.”- Japanese proverb
I am not an expert. I do not claim to be a perfect parent either. But I do analyze, experiment and implement few concepts in our life which are the source of our happiness and peace. I do read a lot about child psychology, parenting and ancient wisdom which helps building the knowledge bank. Here are some of the points I would like to cover today.
1 .Every child is unique
This is a universal truth which we often forget. We all are unique in our own realm of thoughts, feelings and upbringing. When a child is born, it carries its own basic nature and then later with the influence of surroundings in which the baby grows, it develops all different and unique traits.
When a new parent understands this basic concept, they will always find a better way to handle a child.
2. “One solution fits all” may not work
With the free flow of information and data on the internet, new parents tend to find out solutions to every problem digitally. Sometimes, they get confused to read different approaches and solutions to solve a query. Because every mouth has its own words to say. But as a parent, one should always consider that solutions to another person’s problem may not fit theirs. There is no one fit solution when it comes to kids.
Stop worrying about your problems looking at other people’s scenarios. Talk to your parents, grandparents and fellow experienced people around your social circle.
3. Never compare
Comparison creates confusion. Overdose of information and data exchange in today’s world is creating a difference in parent’s mind. A parent can never be peaceful if they start comparing their kids with others. Every kid comes with their own natural flow and it is the parent’s responsibility to give their best. It is usually seen in parents when it comes to height, weight, development goals, percentile etc. Looking at other’s data, parents should not ignore the unique potential of their own kids.
Stop comparing your kids with other kids. Every child is unique. Concentrate on your parenting.
4. Always be by their side
A human child is very unique in terms of getting assistance and support from parents. Biologically it is designed that way. It needs support, comfort and assistance. There are different schools of thoughts whether to respond to a child when it cries or leave it to their own world without assistance. There is enough scientific and experimental evidence that human babies expect comfort , support from their parents and those babies who get the initial assistance and touch become mentally strong in their later stages of life.
When they cry and express their discomfort, please get up and respond.
5. They imitate you
They say, being a parent is a new life. Babies are born to observe and collect information from the outside world. And for them, parents are the world. Babies bring some innate traits and a major portion of their character building comes from their parents. The way the parents behave, talk, think and react, the same way babies try to imitate and act upon. There is always subconscious learning going behind the scenes.
Think twice before you do something in front of babies. They are watching you.
6. Keep them away from radiation
We all know the world has become digital and we need gadgets to use for our day to day life needs. These gadgets emit low levels of radiation — and it is unknown the effect of years of exposures on young children. It is high time we should take a pause and think about the possible adverse effect on babies and kids when we use electronic gadgets and digital media in front of them. Always remember point number 5 above while spending too much time on mobiles and TV.
It is probably better not to use or reduce the use of electronic gadgets in front of your kids.
7. Good food for good life
Very important aspect of the development of babies nowadays. There are hundreds of blogs, articles, schools of thoughts to provide parents the knowledge about what to pick and what not to pick for their babies. But still many parents struggle to select the best food for their babies. With their busy and mechanical life, parents usually fall prey to the system of packet and easy foods which are actually harmful for their brain and overall growth. There are enough scientific research papers to show the adverse effects of packet food if fed continuously for a longer time. For the first year or so, if babies are on mother’s milk apart from other solid foods, they are sure to get a better immune system developed for the rest of their life.
Choose traditional, local and fresh food for babies. . Ask your mother or your family members. Wisdom passes through generations.
8. No panic
It is understood that first time parents worry about small and intricate things and it is totally ok to react. But at the same time, if parents keep worrying about small things , then it will make them feel an unending process. Because babies give surprises all the time. They are unpredictable all the time. At the same time, parents should not ignore any sort of hiccups in taking care of their babies. Sometimes, they need to take it easy.
No need for panic. Situation comes and goes. Handle every situation carefully and calmly.
9. Good habits right from beginning
It is usually seen that some parents give too much freedom to live life and often say, “it is just a baby, let it do what it wants to do”. With this philosophy, sometimes babies can develop wrong habits and in the long run, it is difficult to correct them. If parents want good habits to develop in their kids, it has to start from the beginning.
Start investing from the beginning to get good returns.
10. Current phase is best
This is a simple but powerful thumb rule for peace of mind. If parents think that every phase is different and it becomes more and more challenging as babies grow, then this rule will give them mental peace. The current phase of parenting is the better and easy to handle than what’s there in future.
You can’t get the time back. So, enjoy each phase as the best phase.
11. It’s our decision
Remember, a few months or years back, you have decided to bring a little tiny life to this world. It was our decision and wish to have babies. Hence, as a parent, we have to show respect to our decision. As a parent, it is our responsibility to take care of our child in the best possible way.
Be humble and never forget that it was our decision and wish.
12. Be grateful
We are lucky if we have kids. They make us beautiful and lively throughout our life. Without them, our life would have been dull.
Be always grateful for what we have.
It is sometimes challenging and full of struggle to bring up kids as it rightly says, “it takes a village to raise a child”.
But most of the time, it is full of happiness and blissful with their presence. Smile of a baby can ease out all your stress in no time. How do you feel when they start calling you, how do you feel when they get some achievement in life, how do you feel when they show care towards you? Isn’t it beautiful?
Our society, our world depend on the upcoming generations and it is our responsibility to bring a full fledged life with hope and change the world.
Happy Parenting!
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This post was previously published on medium.com.
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Photo credit: bady abbas on Unsplash
