He treats your relationship like a team effort.
By Frank Kobola
1. He always asks for your opinion. He actively seeks out your advice whether he’s applying to a job in a different department at work or having a fight with a friend. He might not always take your advice, but your insight is important to him.
2. He doesn’t try to micromanage your life. He trusts you to do your own thing. He’s never on you about doing your taxes or getting to work on time. He trusts you to handle your responsibilities. Basically, he’s not a backseat driver, but for life.
3. He doesn’t get jealous when you go out without him. He’s not constantly checking your phone messages. He’s not worried you’ll meet someone else when you go out. He’s confident in your relationship and, more importantly, he trusts you and respects the time you spend away.
4. He opens up to you, even when he’s not sure you’ll like the answer. He shares his insecurities and his past with you even if he thinks you might disapprove. He doesn’t hide any aspect of himself from you, because he knows you’ll understand.
5. He takes your side. Sometimes blindly, but he trusts the decisions you’ve made and he’ll side with you in an argument. He’s only hearing your side of the story, but he knows it’s the right one.
6. He doesn’t jerk you around. He’s not booty-calling you or canceling plans last-minute. He doesn’t ditch you to hang out with friends or disrespect your time. If he does have to cancel on you, he’s apologetic and it rarely happens. He doesn’t ghost on you.
7. He encourages you to take risks. He wants to see you succeed, and he believes in you even when if you want to try a job in a new field. He’s not worried about you taking risks because he knows you can handle yourself, even if you fail.
8. He doesn’t second-guess you. He knows you’ve got a good sense of the world around you and he doesn’t try to change your mind. He knows the decisions you make are the best for you.
9. He doesn’t lie to you. He doesn’t feel the need to hide anything from you. He shares everything with you, even the embarrassing stuff, like being broke or getting embarrassingly drunk. He even tells you when an ex texted him. There are no secrets.
10. He’s OK with disagreeing. Even if you don’t see eye-to-eye on things like politics, he doesn’t try to sway you or put down your opinion. He respects that you have your own viewpoint, even if it’s not the same as his.
11. You actually go out on dates. “Quality time” isn’t just hooking up or watching TV. Early on in the relationship especially, he’s making an effort.
12. He’s upfront about where your relationship is going. He doesn’t tell you now isn’t a good time to get serious. He doesn’t skirt the issue of marriage or kids. It doesn’t matter how he answers it; he lets you know exactly what he wants out of your relationship.
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This article originally appeared on Cosmopolitan. For more like this from Cosmo, try: