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By Sarah Jones
Men who have a quieter, more pensive disposition can often feel in the dark when it comes to dating and attraction.
Not because there’s anything inherently less attractive about them; they are QUITE attractive and mysterious once they realize it. Rather, it’s because most of the way they’ve been conditioned and taught to interact with women is from an extroverted perspective.
When it comes to approaching women, they’ve been told to be the outgoing life of the party. The most common advice out there is, “Just do it, man!”
Whether it’s the often brash dating advice they receive or watching women seemingly flock to the loudest guy in the room, it can be scary for introverted men to know where they stand and what to do when it comes to understanding, much less attracting, a partner.
There is really good news if you’re an introverted guy, though.
If you’re an introverted man, you actually have two superpowers when it comes to understanding women.
Whether or not you feel that you’re necessarily gifted, you are. When you understand why and how to use your natural strengths to your advantage, you have an almost unfair advantage.
As an introverted man, depth and pensiveness are at your core modus operandi in how you make sense of the world.
Let’s utilize that and capitalize on that together so we can have you making clear sense of the world of attractive women.
Today, you’re going to learn your two impressive superpowers, at your ready to help you understand women better than most.
Superpower #1: Your Inherent Empathy
As an introverted man, you are more connected with your feelings than you might realize. In my experience working with introverted clients, the ones who test as “T” for “Thinker” as opposed to “F” for “Feeler” on the Myers-Briggs test are some of the most sensitive and empathetic men I’ve known.
I think this is because even though you may not use feelings as a primary deciding filter or compass in your life cognitively, because of your reflective nature, you’re still extremely in tune with feelings. You feel not only your own, but others’ feelings, palpably. That’s part of why you’re an introvert: you feel so deeply you need time alone to process and rest.
All this contributes to your empathy, which helps you connect with women on an emotional and intuitive level even more deeply than a more extroverted man might be able to, simply because you process feelings on such a deep level with such palpable immediacy.
This perceptiveness comes across in a way that makes you look thoughtful and trustworthy. Women can trust you when they feel like you “get them.” The way your brain already automatically works in conjunction with your feelings and nervous system, all of it enables you to understand women more than most men.
Here’s how to tap into your inherent gift of perceptive empathy so you can understand and relate to women better:
When you notice a woman, notice what she seems to be feeling. Is she happy, sad, lost in thought, giddy, nervous, tired, satisfied, turned on? How is she?
Then when you talk with her, you can just keep that in mind and feel curious and delighted about it. Women are mysterious creatures, and so having a basic sense of her feelings and being open to interpreting more throughout the interaction is a relaxed, sexy, and trustworthy stance to take.
Superpower #2: Your Inherent Inner Strength
In addition to your inherent gift of perceptive empathy, you also have a special sense of inner strength as an introvert.
Because you process the world so deeply and really consider things for yourself before just hopping on the mainstream bandwagon, you have honed your inner compass over the years.
You understand yourself, your values, and your desires. You know what it takes to be true to yourself, and that is very sexy. It’s a solid sense of strength that you may not always recognize in yourself, but women can feel it on you.
The fact that you’re your own man who thinks deeply for himself… there’s something rugged and mysterious and also trustable about that.
Here’s how to tap into your inherent inner strength so you can understand and relate to women better:
Because you’re internally guided, you have a special ability to remain strong in the midst of uncertainty. This helps you feel and come across as unattached and independent.
Whenever you’re interacting with an attractive woman, you can remind yourself that you are strong and you’re your own man. You know who you are and what you want, and this passing interaction is tiny in the grand scheme of things, and yet it’s also an opportunity for you to be true to yourself.
Practically, this looks like only progressing or escalating as far as you want to, and as far as the situation calls for (which you can easily read due to your inherent perceptiveness, outlined above).
When you do this, you feel like such a badass. I have clients tell me all the time how they didn’t kiss a woman when they could have or didn’t get a woman’s number when they could have, not because they were afraid. They weren’t. Rather, they didn’t escalate quickly simply because it didn’t feel right for whatever reason, or because they enjoyed teasing her by going at a slower pace. It works amazingly.
Women are not used to men being so sure of themselves, so strong and steady. As a woman myself, I can honestly say it’s extremely relaxing and exciting to be around a man like this.
At the end of the day, your inherent perceptiveness and your inherent strength can help you understand women in a way that blows their minds and turns them on at the same time. That’s hella fun.
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About the author
Sarah Jones founded Introverted Alpha to help smart introverted men attract women naturally. Her work has been featured on AskMen, Cosmo, Quiet Revolution, Business Insider, San Francisco Chronicle, and more. She loves helping men use their natural strengths to attract women, without having to use tricks or be someone they’re not. Go to IntrovertedAlpha.com to get her free materials on attracting women naturally.
Photo credit: Getty Images