Asexuality means a person who does not experience sexual attraction at all toward any gender.
The term asexual has been widely misunderstood. People who are asexual do not have a fear of relationships or sex — they just don’t feel any sexual attraction and are generally not interested in engaging in any type of sexual activity.
Although there’s still debates over whether asexual people should be included in the LGBT community, there are many people who identify as asexual and it IS a sexual orientation.
Here are some honest confessions about what it’s really like to be an asexual person.
1. You don’t even understand it yourself sometimes.
2. You do want love—just not sex.
3. It’s hard, because you still have a sex drive.
“Being an asexual with a libido is like being in a room full of clothes that don’t fit, so you sit in the middle of the floor naked and crying.”
4. People just don’t understand.
“Came out as asexual. No one believed me.”
5. And sometimes they just get it all wrong.
“Because I’m asexual, people assume that I’m happy being single and never have crushes. Oh how wrong they are.”
6. No, you are not “broken.”
“People ask me if I am broken when I tell them that I am asexual. I’m not broken. I’m just me.”
7. You know because neither gender has aroused you.
“I think I’m asexual because I’m not attracted to either gender. I’ve done things with both genders and I don’t feel anything.”
8. It can feel like a double-edged sword.
“Being asexual is both freeing and horribly lonely.”
9. Sex just doesn’t excite you.
“I think I might be asexual. I mean I’m attracted to people and I watch porn but I just see sex as exercise and porn bores the hell out of me.”
10. It can be SO difficult.
“It’s hard to be an asexual in a world where sex is one of the most important things.”
11. One of the worst feelings is when your own family won’t even accept it.
“Just tried to come out to my mom as asexual. She told me that asexuality wasn’t real, I was too young to know, and that I just had to find the right person. Now she’s acting like it never happened.”
12. It can cause conflicting feelings.
13. It hurts knowing that you’ll miss out on some of life’s milestones.
“Being asexual gets depressing when everyone around you starts having babies. It’s something I’ll likely never be able to do.”
14. You feel that acceptance just isn’t a possibility.
“Being asexual sometimes just makes me feel unreal because people won’t accept the fact I’m not attracted to anyone. People won’t accept that asexuality exists.”
15. You just don’t feel a want for sexual endeavors.
16. Sometimes you feel left out.
“I’m asexual … and sometimes I wish I wasn’t. Usually during sex ed class when you’re expected to be able to relate to the topic.”
17. You have to hide it, because no one believes you.
18. People assume things because they judge you by your looks.
19. Asexuality is NOT a cover for not being able to find someone to love.
20. You finally know what to call your sexual orientation.
“I’m asexual. That’s what I am. I just discovered this. All this time, I’ve been calling it, ‘no sex drive’.”
—
____
This article originally appeared on YourTango. For more like this from YourTango, try:
Photo credit: Getty Images
I am asexual and I know it’s hard finding the right someone for you. I wonder if DR’s could do a test on finding one by setting up a cruise ship for asexual people only? You could find the one you want for you and not have to worry about anything.
I am curious about #3, “It’s hard, because you still have a sex drive.”
I thought that being asexual was more or less by definition that you didn’t have (much of) a sex drive or libido?
Would you care to elaborate on that and enlighten us a little what it’s really like?
From my understanding it can be that or a lack of sexual attraction. The desire can be there, but it isn’t driven by another person?
Hetero-romantic asexual here. Asexuality by definition is the lack of sexual attraction. One can still have a libido the same as a sexual individual can have a tremendously low sex drive. The difference is that for sexual people, this libido is oriented towards specific individual categories, if I can say it that way. Asexuals, as is my case, can have a “sex drive”, but it is essentially aimless.
Great article. This images you find in whisper are enlightening 😀
Reposting a bunch of whisper images does not an article make.