On December 14, 2011, the site’s founder, Tom Matlack, published a piece called “Being a Dude Is a Good Thing” in which he argued that men and women were fundamentally different, and that women refused to “accept men for who they really are.” It wasn’t “ethically possible,”[Hugo] Schwyzer wroteon his site, “to remain silent while the site with which I am now best associated took an increasingly anti-feminist stance.”
In a phrase as garbled as it is instantly descriptive of a certain masculine mindset, Tom writes that most guys are struggling to figure out what “it means to be a man and to be good and to try to do things that are impossible despite the long odds.” … Men, writes Matlack, are filled with yearning: to talk, to be understood, to be accepted. Men, he suggests, have more emotional depth than we give them credit for having. What he doesn’t say is that guys today have so much less emotional resilience than we need them to possess. The contemporary female version of “male yearning” isn’t just ambition, it’s exhaustion.
Since learning of his death early this summer, I have often thought about Trey. Unfortunately, I did not have the opportunity to meet or get to know him. In our brief conversation in December 2011, related to an appeal process, I offered him my sympathy for what had happened to him, asked whether he was getting adequate help, and sought to confirm his views on sanctions for the student who was found responsible for sexual misconduct. I recall being struck by the kindness in Trey’s voice.
Unless the GMP is willing to show some major change (replace Matlack, ban MRAs, don’t publish pieces by admitted serial rapists), let’s avoid reading them. Let’s avoid reading anyone who cross-promotes with them. Let’s avoid reading their writers on any other websites. If they want to be MRA-ville, more power to ‘em. But they don’t get the cover of feminism or progressivism anymore.
All the talk about fathers will continue to feel that way—getting closer, but not there yet.
(Lisa Belkin’s column didn’t mention dads in her year-end summary of parenting for the first 11 items and then limped across with this insult causing me to get upset and engaging in a twitter and email conversation that came to naught)
It’s hard to believe the people at GMP could be naive enough to think that rapists are a good source for the unvarnished truth about rape. Which leaves us with the other explanation: That far from being a progressive website, GMP is now in the business of defending rape.