The year of 2018 imparted a good many lessons to me over its twelve-month span. I found that my perspective of how I view life shifted, becoming clearer. With optimism, I look forward to 2019. I am not only secure in the knowledge that I am armed with what I need to make the most of what this year has to offer me but excited about the chance to share what I have learned. Not being one to keep such wisdom to myself, I fully intend to pay it forward with the hope that others will do the same.
Don’t be Afraid to Grow
We worry too much about what people will say if we make a major move to better our lives. Usually, they’ll say things like “You’ve changed” or “You’re acting so different now.” They may even accuse you of thinking you’re suddenly better than everyone else. The list can go on and on. They may do anything but congratulate you on your growth, and that’s OK. You know exactly what is necessary to create the life you want and you’re doing it for you. So, just do it.
Don’t apologize for bettering your selves and your situations, ever. Constant growth and positive change are musts in this life. Who and what is meant for you will grow with you. They will not simply fall away because you are about to achieve and embrace a new level in your self-development. Your real tribe will celebrate you and your dreams. No apologies are necessary.
Believe in the Power of Timing
Dreams don’t always work right away. Unfortunately, when they fall short of expectations we often make the fatal mistake of believing that they weren’t meant to be at all. Just think how much better our lives would seem if we just stopped for a minute and seriously considered whether the timing was right (or not). Taking a bite of fruit that is picked out of season, while tempting, will likely in disappointment and a bitter taste in one’s mouth.
When we try to operate “out of season,” our dreams can short-circuit. Trust your intuition, the Holy Spirit, your gut, or whatever you want to call it, then ask yourself, “Was this not right for me at all or just now?” Trust the law of timing.
Develop a Reward System
A lot of the time, we set goals, achieve them, and believe that the only reward that exists is in their accomplishment. Not so. There are other ways to reward ourselves. We may want to hand in a term paper early, for example. While we may achieve this and get an ‘A’, we could also decide to treat ourselves to something more tangible like a long-deserved, strawberry daiquiri (leaded or unleaded) or a whole night of junk food and binge-watching a new Netflix series. Using personal rewards helps us celebrate our accomplishments and stay motivated.
The Power of One
I discovered a powerful thing in 2018. You’ve probably heard the famous quote by Lao Tzu a million times: “The journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.” While you may not believe this, I promise you, it’s true. This is one principle that never failed me, once, last year. I wanted to start running more, so I started off, gradually, with one mile. Then, I set the bar a little higher for the next run and so on. I took the same approach with a goal to do more push-ups: I started off small and worked my way up in number and intensity. This amazing principle can be applied to almost anything that we want to accomplish. We should never underestimate the power of that very first step. The “power of one” will not fail you. Try it! You’ll thank me later.
No Excuses, Only Adjustments!
This is one of my favorite motivational lines. It pushes me forward whenever I feel like making excuses or giving up. It ties into the Latin proverb attributed to Hannibal: “I will, either, find a way or make one.” We start to shut ourselves down the minute we think up some lame excuse and don’t follow through with our goals. After all, excuses rarely sound good to anyone but the person making them. Instead, we should start making adjustments and work around the barriers we perceive (when possible, of course). Even in the most limiting and stressful of circumstances, options tend to exist, giving us the power of choice.
What Does Your Name Say?
Now, here is something to pause and reflect on. When people hear your name what automatically comes to their minds? What do they associate with you? Does anyone even think of you at all?
Here’s a quick test. Michael Jordan…Oprah Winfrey…Robert Mugabe…Mark Zuckerberg…Bill Gates. Something likely came to mind when you read each of those names, right? What’s the reason? Because those people are known for something – good or bad. The point is that you only have one name, so build it, protect it, and become known for the greatness you are capable of.
The Two Minute Rule (Kills Procrastination)
I came across this lesson while looking for ways to cut my nasty habit of procrastination (which I am still working on by the way). The two-minute rule simply states that if it’s something that can be completed in two minutes (or less), just go ahead and do it. I have tried this and with great results.
I found Newton’s first law in physics to be particularly applicable here. It states that an object at rest will stay at rest, while an object in motion will stay in motion unless acted upon by an unbalanced force. The same is true for us. Once we get started and build some momentum, we usually get into a flow and just keep on going. So, what about the bigger goals that can’t be completed in 2 minutes or less? Just remember that it only takes 2 minutes to simply get started.
Perspective Shift
A change in the way I’ve seen certain things has allowed me to develop a more positive attitude toward the circumstances, people and things in my life. So, for those mornings when I hit my snooze button at least 17 times because I’m really not in the mood for work (or people), I remind myself that I GET to go to work. That’s right! I remind myself that I actually have a job to go to every morning, while many only wish they could wake up to the same scenario. It’s sobering, really, to realize how much we overlook the positive in our lives when things seem so negative. Shift your perspective and begin to see obligations as opportunities. Think of all the things you get to do!
Grow Up to Give Out
How do we mark true success? Is it by amassing ridiculous amounts of money and things that we can’t possibly take with us when we leave this planet, or do we measure it by what we have left behind and done for others? We don’t learn and experience things to keep those lessons to ourselves. We gain knowledge and wisdom to share it. This means we should go pouring out into the world, daily, and share our gifts, making a difference; it is not about being selfish. Use your time, talents and resources for the betterment and enrichment of humanity. Pay it forward!
Choose a Theme
Every month I meditate and focus on what I want my theme to be for that particular month. I do this to set a tone for the weeks ahead, so I can keep my focus. Every day, before I walk out of my room, I see the theme at the top of my calendar. Staring me in the face, I can’t help but remind myself about what needs to be done and the mindset that is necessary to do it. This is how I keep myself determined and motivated. Now, you may decide to do this, daily or—maybe—for the entire year. However you decide to go about it, pick one, keep it in mind, and let it guide you (and your actions) closer toward your goals.
You Know What’s Scary?
Many would agree that making a big life-change can be pretty scary. What’s even scarier, however, is regret.
In the middle of writing this essay, I got an unexpected call that taught me that what we sometimes see as coincidence can be confirmation of a direction in which we need to go. A friend of mine called me to tell me of a bold decision she had made to quit a job that she had held for many years. She wanted to go out on a limb and “go for life.” All I could think about was how frightening that would be for most of us. Nonetheless, she did it, and it has paid off big time! She landed another job that was completely different and she loves it. Just think where all of us could be right now if we weren’t afraid to just go for what we want? Don’t settle for less, don’t be afraid of change, take calculated risks, and go for life!
—
What’s Next? Talk with others. Take action.
We are proud of our SOCIAL INTEREST GROUPS—WEEKLY PHONE CALLS to discuss, gain insights, build communities— and help solve some of the most difficult challenges the world has today. Calls are for Members Only (although you can join the first call for free). Not yet a member of The Good Men Project? Join below!
RSVP for Intersectionality Calls
—
Join the Conscious Intersectionality FACEBOOK GROUP here. Includes our new call series on Human Rights.
Join The Good Men Project Community
All levels get to view The Good Men Project site AD-FREE. The $50 Platinum Level is an ALL-ACCESS PASS—join as many groups and classes as you want for the entire year. The $25 Gold Level gives you access to any ONE Social Interest Group and ONE Class–and other benefits listed below the form. Or…for $12, join as a Bronze Member and support our mission, and have a great ad-free viewing experience.