22 Top Tips to Survive a Long-Distance Relationship

Two weeks ago, my boyfriend and I hit the 6th year mark of our relationship. We didn’t do crazy celebrations, but we know our bond is getting stronger and stronger every day.

“Distance never separates two hearts that care, for our memories span the miles, and in seconds we are there. But whenever I start feeling sad because I miss you, I remind myself how lucky I am to have someone so special to miss.” — Cheryl Ott

When I told people the length of time we’ve been together, they were in awe. But they don’t know how hard it is to keep this long-distance relationship going. Some days you feel crazy and questions lots of things.

“Is this worth it?”

“I feel stupid. What if things don’t work out?”

“Why am I waiting for this person when I can be with someone else here?”

And million other questions. It’s just unavoidable. It’s something you need to bear in your head when you’re in a long-distance like me.

Sometimes I’ve seen these couples on Youtube who glamorizes the idea of long-distance so much that they make it look such an easy peasy.

And this eventually leads to a more and more young generation trying out dating apps and just jumping into long-distance relationships without much thinking.

If I’m being completely honest with you, I wouldn’t suggest other people do it, knowing how much it takes to make it work — it’s so freaking hard. You might lose yourself in the way.

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But if you are already in one and committed to pushing through, here’s my two cents — 21 best tips to survive your long-distance relationship:

Take a break once in a while (yes, this is the number #1 recipe for me to keep the connection stable)
Quality over quantity: This means you don’t need to talk/text 24/7. That thing will kill the spark. Do you know that “video calling every night and falling asleep together?” trend on TikTok? That’s not good for your mental health — drop it.
Make a plan to reunite — even if the date is still uncertain. It will keep the excitement going.
Keep your hobbies, and don’t ditch your friends just because you want to talk to your long-distance partner.
The distance can make you very, very insecure so avoid overthinking stuff.
When things don’t feel right, tell your partner even if they don’t seem significant.
Stop entertaining those negative thoughts that say, “your partner might be cheating on you.” It doesn’t make you (or your partner) feel better.
Save up your money earlier, so you don’t have to go broke every time the reunite happens.
Learn how to compromise — if they can’t visit you, you need to visit them.
Know your end goal (and make sure you both are on the same page).
Avoid hanging out with people who make you feel stupid for being in a long-distance relationship.
Don’t take things personally. You both live in different time zones, so just because your partner doesn’t want to talk to you doesn’t mean there’s something wrong with you.
Increase your patience — not every plan will go accordingly.
When there’s a problem, solve it right away. Effective communication is key.
Stop comparing your long-distance relationship with couples you see on the street.
If you both have different cultures and languages like me, avoid forcing yourself to learn each other’s culture. You just need to respect it.
Sending nudes to your long-distance partner is not a crime. Sometimes it helps to keep the spark alive (but first, make sure they’re trustable).
Watching a movie together on a Friday night gets old — be creative and find something new every now and then.
People (including your family) might not be “cool” with your long-distance relationship — it’s okay, as long as you are.
Do a relationship check once in a while to ensure you’re still investing your time and energy in the right person.
You’ll feel lonely, and that’s normal. Find your best way to deal with it without harming your relationship.
Lastly, every time you want to give up, let me remind you that the grass is always greener on the other side.

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To close this, here’s a quote that you need to hold tight when things get hard.

“The longer you have to wait for something, the more you will appreciate it when it finally arrives.The harder you have to fight for something, the more priceless it will become once you achieve it.And the more pain you have to endure on your journey, the sweeter the arrival at your destination.All good things are worth waiting for and worth fighting for.” — Susan Gale.

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I write about all things you might struggle with within your love life. My main goal is to make you feel less alone on your journey. If you resonate with my stories, stay tuned by becoming a Medium member here.

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This post was previously published on medium.com.

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