What is narcissism?
Addicted to compliments, don’t accept rebuts.
Always consider yourself “the best” and unique.
Habitual ridicule and mental control of others.
Lack of empathy, but very utilitarian.
What is it like to fall in love with a narcissist? You may face the following three truths.
Truth 1: He’s only in love with fantasies about you
Narcissists don’t fall in love with others because they love themselves more, or their “fantasy identity in perfectionism.”
They are very good at creating their own perfect identity, their job, living environment, and friends must be the status that matches their identity, especially when choosing a partner.
Only that ideal perfect partner deserves his love. So although it sounds like you are in love, it is a pity that what he fell in love with was only a fantasy created by his mind based on you.
Truth 2: He Won’t Change For You, But He Will Ask You To Change
Using all kinds of gorgeous excuses to cover up their double standards is a common method used by narcissists to maintain their lofty status in romantic relationships.
They will continue to emphasize their kindness and justice and to match you with his noble image, they will start to ask you to make changes.
Lack of empathy, they will make changes to each “character” around them — to meet the needs of their fantasy world.
It’s useless even if you raise objections because they only have their own needs in their eyes.
Truth 3: How long a relationship lasts depends on how long you can look up to him
When you refuse to fit in with his perfect image, the initial good-for-nothing infatuation and overly idealistic fantasies between you will gradually disintegrate.
As for the love and devotion you expect in reality, it is quite superficial to him, and his response to you also depends on how you look up to him, such as praising him and listening to his advice.
Don’t sink into the “dream world”
Narcissists can be very attractive, and they are very good at drawing a “dream world” for themselves and the people around them.
They may be the most romantic and charming partner at the beginning, but behind this “dream world”, what they seek is not a partner or family happiness, but a surrenderer and a provider who inflates their self-awareness.
Once you get your loyalty, your expectations and feelings will no longer be taken into account by them.
If you go further into the marriage, you may be lost in their sudden indifference after marriage. There is no way you can save them from the abyss of narcissism or awaken their sleeping love.
All you can do is change yourself, or change your relationship with them.
Know that the people who truly love you and support you are those who allow you to be free and be yourself.
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This post was previously published on medium.com.
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Photo credit: Fares Hamouche on Unsplash
