To know whether someone is committed to you isn’t actually that hard. There’s no need to play games or put a test, so you can be 100% sure.
When it comes to relationships, I still think it’s more important for us to focus on our partner’s actions rather than their words.
People can say those three words without meaning, but their day-to-day actions will tell you the truth.
When someone wants you, they will make time for you
The classic advice, right?
But you’ll be surprised how many people out there refused to believe in this one piece of advice. That’s why most of them are stuck in a casual relationship — even though clearly they wanted a committed one.
When you know someone you like doesn’t make time for you, the worst thing you can do is to convince yourself that things will change. Trust me, I’ve been there, and it’s nothing but a painful experience.
The moment you know someone you’ve been seeing doesn’t want a committed relationship, walk away. The earlier, the better.
It doesn’t matter how many times they say they’ll be there for you. If, in reality, they never show up, then it’s a red flag you should take seriously.
Someone who wants you won’t make you feel like you aren’t the number one priority.
If you have watched the “He is Just Not That Into You” book, you’ll know how many hard truths they said, and here’s my favorite quote:
“I’m about to make a wild, extreme, and severe relationship rule: THE WORD “BUSY” IS A LOAD OF CRAP AND IS MOST OFTEN USED BY ASSHOLES. The word “busy” is the relationship Weapon of Mass Destruction. Remember: Men are never too busy to get what they want.” ― Greg Behrendt
When someone wants you, they make sure they understand your needs
I knew my partner truly wanted me in his life when he put in the work to understand my needs. It’s not easy, but any real efforts are very well appreciated.
The easiest way to see if someone truly wants you isn’t by how many times they reassure you with “I love you” but by how caring they are about your needs.
For example, you can tell this person once that you’re very sensitive. And sometimes, even little words hurt your feelings.
So, your partner will do more work then to make sure he isn’t reckless and more thoughtful with using the right words.
I’ve seen many bad relationships start with how either one or both parties just don’t care enough about each other’s needs. While in reality, it’s the main foundation for building a long-term relationship.
You’re not with someone just for their companion. You’re with them because they make you feel understood and heard.
If you get none of those, it’s better to be alone. Because what’s the point, right?
And when someone wants you, they close the door for other “potential” partners
Nowadays, most people have a trust issue whether someone is truly committed in the relationship.
It’s understandable, though. Look how crazy online dating has been lately.
There are just too many toxic dating trends out there. Take Breadcrumbing, for example: keeping 2–3 “potential partners” at a time just so they’d feel like they always have an option.
Of course, it’s painful to be on the receiving end. That’s why when you’re with someone who doesn’t treat you like you’re the only one, always question the relationship.
Do they still talk to other women/men? Are they active on dating apps? What does your gut tell you?
Sometimes, you don’t need your friend’s advice on whether he/she is into you or not. You can just feel it with their actions to back it up.
Someone who wants a committed relationship with you wouldn’t bother having another option.
They take chances. They don’t care if there’s someone better out there waiting for them.
They stay with you and stick it out no matter what happens.
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“To be brave is to love someone unconditionally, without expecting anything in return.” -Madonna
I’m a big believer that a real relationship shouldn’t be complicated. Yes, it’s hard, but not complicated.
It shouldn’t make you question your worth.
It shouldn’t make you feel like you have to beg for their commitment. It’s just something you get without even asking for it.
I’ve been in relationships where things just felt so unsure. I knew we’d be good together, but his actions made me doubtful.
Red flags such as: not wanting to go out with you in public, keeping the relationship secret, treating you like an option, and many more.
The point is, you won’t feel any of those if you’re with the right person who wants to equally invest in the relationship.
Lastly, please know this. Even if the person you like doesn’t want to commit, you’re still enough. You’ve always been.
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This post was previously published on medium.com.
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White Fragility: Talking to White People About Racism | Escape the “Act Like a Man” Box | The Lack of Gentle Platonic Touch in Men’s Lives is a Killer | What We Talk About When We Talk About Men |
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