3 Habits That Are Making You a Miserable Person

Note: This article does not apply to people struggling with mental health. If you feel you are struggling with your mental health, please seek professional help instead.

We all go through ups and downs in life. Some days are great, some not so much. But if you have been feeling miserable for a long time, even when things are going well for you, there might be a deeper issue — a problem that most probably lies in your habits.

I used to be this person — miserable, unhappy, and always complaining about something. That’s why I feel qualified to share my experience and point out a few habits that might be making you miserable and how you can overcome them.

1. Constantly Comparing Your Life Through Social Media

Social media is the biggest curse of this generation. Every time you start to feel a little good about yourself, you’ll see someone on social media doing a little better than you and it will immediately take away all your confidence.

But what we fail to realize is that social media only shows about 5% of a person’s life.

So you get to see the promotion but not the endless late nights at work, the perfect relationship but not the fights and compromises they make behind doors, and the perfect body but not the hours at the gym.

Stop thinking of yourself as a victim. Most people don’t have it easier than you. They just choose to work hard and highlight the best parts of their life. And you end up comparing those best moments with your everyday life and end up feeling miserable.

2. Resisting Negative Emotions

Negative emotions are a part of life yet a lot of us aren’t comfortable dealing with them. I used to be someone who would turn into a complete mess anytime I was faced with a negative situation. I would turn into a whining victim wondering why all the bad things always happened to me. But then I realized how unfair I was being.

Everyone goes through hard times. Failure, heartbreak, and suffering are a part of life. Sure, some people have it harder than others, but there’s no point in living your life as a victim.

So I changed the narrative. I am not a victim and I am not the unluckiest person in the world. Things that are happening to me are just chapters of life, not my entire life and even the bad chapters are imparting valuable lessons.

Now when I am faced with a difficult situation, I don’t take it personally because I know that like all things, this too shall pass. It’s not that deep.

3. Only Focusing On The Negatives

Its important to reflect on things that go wrong in your life but only to process and learn from them. If you become too fixated on what you don’t have, you’ll never have the chance to look at all the blessings that you do have which in turn will again make you a sad miserable person.

Let’s take an example. Let’s say you part ways with someone who seemed to be the love of your life. Obviously, it’s a difficult time for you when grieving is natural. But fixating on the loss of that relationship might soon open the dates to other negative thoughts.

“Will I ever find someone who truly loves me?”

“Maybe I’ll always be alone”

“Maybe something’s wrong with me and that’s why none of my relationships work out”

“Maybe I don’t deserve happiness and this is how my life will be forever”

Don’t deny it, we all have had similar thoughts after a breakup which led us to be miserable for a lot longer than we should have.

So instead of focusing on what’s gone, you can focus on what you do have — loving friends, family, maybe a good job, a nice apartment or maybe your cute pet.

It doesn’t even have to be anything huge. You can be grateful for your comfortable room, the dress that fits you so well, or your favorite cup of coffee from your go-to spot.

Try to find happiness in the little things because when you are happy, you are positive and productive, which in turn can help you achieve whatever it is you dream of.

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When these habits become a part of your life, you become a miserable person and when you become a miserable person, it becomes hard for people to like you. Everybody is dealing with their own problems. And although people who truly love you will try to put up with your never-ending melancholy, it will get tiring at some point. No one wants to hang out with someone who constantly drains their energy.

I understand that once you start spiraling into misery, it can be really hard to get out of it. So don’t be so hard on yourself. But I also feel that sometimes we need a little tough love. We need someone to call us out on our mistakes and point us in the right direction.