3 Helpful Pieces of Advice for Recovering After a Rough Breakup

Everyone says the same couple of things after your breakup; surround yourself with friends, take time for yourself, and move on.

Wow, I never thought of any of that.

The truth is, breakups suck even if you were ready for the relationship to be over. You have a new void in your life, once filled by another person that was half of your life.

It also comes with the waves of emotions you go through surrounding loneliness and any residual resentment you haven’t kicked to the curb.

Another truth about breakups is the hardest part is in the word itself. Break. A break up is a break in your habits, a break in how you spend your free time, a break from consistent, passionate sex, and a break from a connection you had with somebody.

Recovering from a breakup is not about avoiding your emotions and masking your pain. It is about real solutions to finding your health and happiness again.

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Find your passion project

The first thing you must do to recover after a breakup is to avoid remaining stagnant.

The days seem so long because you are not doing anything with your free time. You do not have to force yourself to fill that time up with unfulfilling tasks; focus on what’s on your mind.

Even if all you can think about is the breakup, then research the breakup. Dig into your research on how to set boundaries in the future. Explore how to communicate in a relationship.
That hobby you ignored and put off should now be at the center of your everyday life. Tell yourself that today is the day you start that side hustle. If you write, then double your production.
Learn a new program or skill that would help in your work life. If you do not feel motivated to explore the tool, watch a “how-to” video.

You have to find a way to keep moving forward. If you stay stagnant, you fail to grow, and you will be in a state of negative energy.

Finding a passion project motivates you to wake up in the morning with a task and an accomplishment for the day.

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Meal prep and workout

We have all been there before; everything sounds unappetizing, and you’re not even hungry.

I know how hard it is to feel like you’re forcing yourself to eat or that a drive-through is the only way you’d be able to muster up the energy.

Pick one day a week, even if it is not a consistent day where you meal prep dinner and lunch options. You can find one day when you’re motivated to cook, and hitting:30 on the microwave will be less daunting than cooking.
Get up. No, like right now, get up. Walk around the block. Then tomorrow go a quarter-mile. Go to the gym and stretch. Then go and get a 20-minute routine in. Do not sit around and let your physical health suffer from your emotional health.

Breakups hurt our emotional, spiritual, and physical worlds. Let’s face it; you feel weak. Feeling weak and becoming weak are two different things. Do everything in your power for your physical health not to suffer.

Stop chasing the future

One of the hardest things to do after a breakup is to stop chasing the future.

I know you want to move on to the day when you heal and are ready to move forward with your life. Guess what, you’re not there yet, and that’s ok.

When you have moments that you’re sad or angry, embrace those moments and accept that it’s the emotion you are feeling, you are human. You often prolong your negative emotions when you guilt yourself for having them.
Socialize before you start dating. When you are newly single, you can get caught in the trap of sleeping around to rebound. Try socializing with new prospects first. Rebounding feels good now but will hurt later.
Be ok being single. Regardless of your age, length of the relationship or hopes had, you’ll bounce back. You aren’t going to be alone forever, and you’re worthy of love.

Trying to avoid the effects of a breakup is the exact way to get stuck in them. Navigate those waves and understand that the sun will come up tomorrow, and you’re lucky enough to see it.

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Conclusion

The moral of the story is that breakups suck. You lose hope and have a hard time finding true happiness. The components that are the most hurtful are the new voids in your life, your emotional and physical health, and moving on.

I hate to give it to you straight, but those are the cards. One side of relationships is finding your partner and enjoying the rest of your life together. The other side of the coin is that it wasn’t your perfect match, and now you have to break up.

If it doesn’t work out, your growth has to start that day, even if it’s incremental. We do this in many facets of our life when we want the result without going through the process. The process is finding a way to recover and know that there are brighter days ahead.

It’s all you can control.

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This post was previously published on medium.com.

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