3 Red Flags That Your Relationship Is One-Sided

Listening to Chris Rock some days ago, he said something that stopped me on my track. He said, “Relationships aren’t hard. It’s only hard when one person is building.

And I agree.

Relationships require two people to be on the same page for it to work. Two people giving 100% to the relationship and nothing less.

But sometimes, we find ourselves in a relationship that feels like we’re shouldering the whole load.

A one-sided relationship can be hard. Hard — and painful too.

If you’re wondering whether the challenges you’re facing in your relationship could mean you’re the only one doing the heavy lifting, here are three clues to help you.

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1. One-sided compromise.

Every relationship requires compromise. No two persons can live harmoniously if they aren’t willing to compromise.

Partners have to meet each other halfway.

My people have a saying that, “When both hands wash each other, they end up cleaner.”

Therefore, if you’re the one always or mostly giving in, or letting go, that’s a red flag you should watch out for. It could mean your partner doesn’t feel you’re worth the sacrifice. Because that’s exactly what compromising is–sacrifice.

A true test of love and commitment is in what we’re willing to sacrifice. If we aren’t willing to sacrifice, then our love is questionable.

2. One-sided apology.

An apology is the blue litmus test that proves someone isn’t willing to lose you. It feels good to watch a partner do whatever it takes not to lose you. It creates a sense of security in your relationship.

But when they can’t be bothered, and you’re the one mostly or always apologizing, it’s time you adjust your position and take a good look at your relationship.

If your partner hardly apologizes, it can be a red flag. One you shouldn’t ignore.

Eventually, emotional insecurity will kick in. And because you feel you don’t have them locked in, you fear they can walk away if they wish to.

It creates a dynamic where you have to be on your best behaviour to get them interested. It’s exhausting.

3. A feeling of loneliness.

I’m sure you must have heard the phrase, “Loneliness isn’t being alone?”

That’s because you can be surrounded by people and still feel lonely.

The cure, therefore, to loneliness is being seen.

If your partner isn’t paying attention to you, say, for example, they’re always on their phone whenever they’re with you, you’re bound to feel lonely.

When you don’t feel seen, you feel unappreciated. And when you feel unappreciated you feel unloved.

It’s difficult dealing with the feeling of loneliness while you’re with someone you love. Though our happiness shouldn’t depend solely on others, our partners should contribute to our peace and mental wellbeing and not make our lives harder than they need to be.

Final Thoughts…

When your relationship becomes one-sided, chances are, your partner no longer fancies you like they once did. Either someone new has caught their attention or they just simply don’t feel as they once did towards you. Whatever may be their reasons, it may be they’ve lost interest in you.

I understand, however, that sometimes our lovers get busy and have their shit to deal with. That’s why it’s important to know your partner and know when they’re going through stuff.

My advice thus is this…

When people lose interest, sometimes, you don’t have to remind them why they should stay. If possible, and if you can manage it, let them go. The reason is, giving someone a reason to be with you makes the love conditional. And what happens when that condition, [or reason] isn’t met?

You deserve a person who’s sure about you. A person who’s mature enough to realize that love isn’t only what you feel. But it’s a decision to commit no matter what.