3 Simple Reasons To Drop the Valentines Day Hype

It’s just about that time of year when you are making reservations, picking out lingerie and outfits for Valentine’s Day. Or you’ve got no reason to celebrate and are painfully aware of that. Fear not, in either case, Valentine’s really isn’t worth the trouble. I mean, of course, you want to have someone to demonstrate their affection for you but there is nothing about the second week of the shortest month that you need to worry your pretty little head over.

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1. It’s on a Monday.

I hate Mondays except for this special love Monday! You’d better LOVE this Monday today. What are you going to do on a Monday!? Let me guess…. go out to eat? Wait hold on, I’ll get to that in a minute. It’s just if you really want to make something special you can probably choose a better day. You can’t even really swim in the bubbly like you want to on a Monday night. We don’t even have a day off to celebrate, I’ve got to go to work in the morning.

I know there is a simple answer to getting around the Monday issue. It is to go out on the weekend but that’s my point! Not only CAN you choose a better day many of you will. If February 11th is easily made just as special as the 14th then the holiday isn’t important. It’s intentionality and effort that matter. Also, the Superbowl is this Sunday so it’s just an extra reason why this is an exceptionally bad day for a holiday.

2. Going out to Eat

Everybody and their momma is going to be out eating on February 14. Hold on, this restaurant has a $60 per guest minimum not including drinks, and a $50 cancellation fee? PER GUEST? Is that even a thing for a restaurant? It is on Valentine’s Day! Don’t you love it? Honestly, if you haven’t made plans already you are already too late. In addition to facing holiday markups on Entrees, Wine, and Desserts you are going to be out in public on a busy holiday in a pandemic. How many holiday flare-ups do we need to go through to get the picture on that?

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3. Pressure

This is really the main thing that I draw away from. Because all the marketing and movies have built up pressure around this day it is easy to feel disappointed if it doesn’t live up to the hype. As though anybody should be dissatisfied that a Monday night in February didn’t feel like a Nicholas Sparks scene. The obligation put here is twofold in its troubles. First, it makes things that would make a regular day special like a card, chocolate, or flowers into clichés. It takes away the ‘special’ in the special occasion because it is what everyone is getting today.

Then after beating the fairy dust out of your fairytale, it is enforcing the cliche that it created. Sure, everyone is getting jewelry, dinner, and a teddy bear but if you don’t get at least that much you will feel left out and underappreciated. By creating this norm, you are measuring yourself to it whether you like it or not or whether you just don’t need another stuffed animal.

Photo by Giulia Bertelli on Unsplash

Personally, I take disappointment really hard, and I fell into the pressure trap for my anniversary. I got myself so excited about the perfect day that when a less than perfect day emerged, I wasn’t able to appreciate it. I was in tears before 8 am because all my dreams weren’t going to come true. Then I couldn’t convince myself it would be worth the drive anymore. Then nothing else can make me happy because nothing was as good as my imaginary day that actually never was going to happen. Too much pressure.

I’m going to avoid making the same mistake this go round and have a fantastic time.

1. Dehyping Valentine’s day: (thank you for being a part of that experience) I did make dinner reservations (for the 15th because I really am not trying to see all of you in person next week) and we aren’t going to buy dessert (unless there is creme brulee) because we are going to get the marked down fancy chocolates and the marked down flowers.

2. His and Hers gifts: I understand, but I kind of don’t believe people just give men sex for Valentine’s Day. I mean I did buy lingerie, but my husband is getting a gift (an AK, don’t ask me for any further details I do not speak gun). We are married so, like, there is no surprise when one of us spends $1000 on a plaything (death machine) but it is a treat. For me, we are going to Hadestown baby! The Broadway show is touring 5 minutes from my house and I. Can. Not. WAIT.

3. Spreading it out: Diversify your romantic investments. All of the things that are going to be really special for me and mine aren’t going to happen on Valentine’s day. We aren’t going to unwrap an AK, go to the range, make our dinner reservations, and go to Hadestown on the same day (definitely not on a Monday). Isn’t 3 nice days better than 1? Aren’t we more likely to end up with something truly special if we cater to each other’s schedules and desires?

That’s what we are going to do. Focus on appreciating who you have in your life rather than pressuring yourself or someone else to perform for a holiday. If you take it as an opportunity to treat the person you love instead of an obligation everyone has more fun.

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This post was previously published on medium.com.

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