3 Situations That Reveal a Person’s Real Loyalty

I have learned something the hard way: real loyalty never makes a show, but it is always there the whole time, hiding in plain sight until pressure exposes it. It is only then that you see who is genuine. People behave differently when the stakes change.

Let life throw you one little curveball, and you come to discover that the people who now let you go straight to voice, and don’t return your messages, are the same people who swore they were solid, the same people who used to act like loyalty was their default, but success and struggle are both great revealers.

I must say at this point that many don’t fail the loyalty test because they are necessarily evil. They fail because loyalty sometimes costs a lot (time, money, and maybe even a little emotional toll), so they step back because, for them, the price is high. You see, the problem is, a lot of folks are only generous when it doesn’t pinch; however, the ones who do pass the test always let their actions do all the talking.

“Success and struggle are both great revealers.”

The big three revealing situations

1. When you are no longer useful to them:
It is like how Oprah Winfrey put it, everyone wants to ride with you in the limo, but what you really want is someone who will take the bus with you when the limo breaks down. So, just watch how people act when they can’t get anything from you (money, validation, access, etc). If they slither away, that is who they were, and if they stay, that is who they are.

Loyalty will be the person who still takes your calls even when your value to them is basically zero.

“You can easily judge the character of a man by how he treats those who can do nothing for him.”
— Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

2. When you make a mistake that embarrasses them:
Of course, everyone loves you when you look good standing next to them. The real test is when you mess up, and it splashes onto their image. Now, a loyal person won’t pretend you didn’t screw up, and they won’t distance themselves from you either.

Your true loyalists will tell you the truth in private, but they will still defend you in public. Those that quickly shrunk away under embarrassment were never loyal to you to begin with.

“A real friend is one who walks in when the rest of the world walks out.”
— Walter Winchell

3. When they are winning, and you are not:
I will tell you this: success exposes people faster than failure ever will. If they start competing with you or acting like your progress threatens their own, you already have your answer… but if they are still taking the time to root for you when their life is going better than yours, then they are the real deal.

“A true friend never gets in your way unless you happen to be going down.”
— Arnold H. Glasow

Loyalty is really not that complicated

You just overthink it because you want the wrong people to be the right ones. So you reinterpret their behavior or pretend you didn’t see what you saw, but these situations always show who’s who.

The truth is simple: the people who want to stay will stay. The ones who don’t will slither away the second the stakes change. To quote one random coffeehouse philosopher: Jealousy is cheap, loyalty is expensive, and most people won’t pay the price.

So now, you have no need for you to test or negotiate anyone’s character anymore; just watch how they act in the above situations. You see, people will reveal themselves without meaning to, but once you see it, you should never unsee it.

And yes, true loyalty is rare; however, when you know you have someone who is solid in the times when most people jump ship, then know that that is someone you should keep close.