3 Technology Rules Every Young Family Should Have

I grew up on a children’s church song that went like this…

“Be careful little minds what you see.”

In a world where most children are exposed to pornographic material before the age of 12, this sentiment has become sad and almost apocalyptic.

It’s also a funny statement. Why?

Because most kids have no idea how to protect themselves, it’s the job of their parents and guardians to set up guardrails that can keep them safe. There’s only one way kids can be protected from the visual onslaught of overstimulating, inappropriate, and violent material that they might otherwise stumble onto online.

We have to make sure they can’t find it, or at least can’t encounter it alone.

Officer Gomez, an SRO officer who educates parents about online safety on Facebook, has some insightful points that I’ve been grateful to read lately. He brings up things that parents might not have considered, such as the danger of seemingly innocent games like Roblox, which has a chat feature many parents don’t police.

He’s not aiming to scare parents; he’s just giving them experience-based recommendations on how to make these games and experiences safer for their kids.

I want to do the same. I don’t want to scare anyone; I want to make good-faith suggestions on how to better protect your children.

Here’s what research, experts, and common sense say is helpful:

No internet without supervision

This will obviously change as your children get older, but I’m a big fan of no screens out of sight of a parent at least until your child is in high school.

This is especially important when you consider the addition of platforms like YouTube. It only takes a few clicks of recommended next videos for your child to end up somewhere they shouldn’t be.

Even protections like YouTube Kids or the Kids browser on Netflix don’t mean that what they’re watching is appropriate or helpful.

One of the biggest things I try to discuss with everyone in my life who has children is that not all screen time is created equal. There are several shows and channels that are much better than others. Make sure you’re around to not only ensure that what your children are watching is appropriate, but also that it’s shaping them into the kind of people you want to be around.

Choose what they’re able to watch

Growing up, we had a rotation of movies that we watched in the car. That was it. That was all we ever saw on a long car ride. These movies have now, consequently, shaped who I am today. I can quote The Princess Diaries, Remember the Titans, and Free Willy like the back of my hand.

My brothers and I also watched Franklin the Turtle, PBS Kids, and Mister Rogers at home. Most of these shows were fantastic and formative in all of the right ways for my young mind.

As I got older, I wasn’t allowed to watch any Disney show where most of the material was pre-teens or teenagers sassing and talking back to their parents. My mom knew that I would take that to heart and start mimicking that behavior myself.

Choosing what your kids are allowed to watch means you can get their content on your side when it comes to parenting. Choose things for them to watch that support your values and the type of behavior you’d like your kids to exemplify.

Pick things that emphasize family, curiosity, fun, learning, and kindness. Your kids will learn and mimic what they see — make sure what they’re mimicking is what you really want to see.

Disable all chat features, or don’t allow games with them

No game with open chat rooms is immune to the problems that online space can bring. I played a game when I was younger that was all about horses. The game, for some reason, had chat rooms. You would think that people would just be chatting about the horses in the game, right? Wrong.

While many chats were dedicated to discussions about the game, others capitalized on the opportunity and suggested role-playing games based on shared interests in different fandoms, somewhat related to the game. As a creative writer, I was interested in this.

However, the themes weren’t always so innocent.

I quickly found myself in groups with people who weren’t discussing the simple things that other stories were addressing. While particular words weren’t allowed in chats in the game, people found workarounds, euphemisms, and suggestive language that could pass through.

This led me to discover other, “real” chatrooms outside of the game, all without my mom’s knowledge. This led to a dark rabbit hole and exposure to many things I wish I could reverse.

People on the internet don’t have your child’s best interests at heart. I’m a big fan of disallowing all chat rooms, or games with chat rooms, especially for young kids who don’t know how to distinguish between friend and foe.

I think allowing your young child in a chat room is like leaving them alone in a room of strangers. They might be okay, but they might not be. I don’t think it’s worth taking that gamble.

The online world is a scary place. So is the real one. Your kids will pick up on the freedom that other kids have and want it themselves. The biggest reason my mom let me play that horse game? My best friend played it, too. My mom innocently assumed that because my friend and her siblings played it, it must be safe.

I think we have to stop assuming that anything is safe. We should confirm for ourselves, then allow our children to step into that digital or online space. Trust, but verify.

Again, I don’t want to scare anyone. Plenty of children are able to play games online, watch YouTube Kids, and use a tablet without issue. But for every one of those kids, there’s probably another who’s gone too far, got too curious, and got hurt as a result.

I’d encourage you to take your job as a technology guardian seriously. Only let pass through what aligns with your values and supports the safety and innocence of your youngster. I think we owe it to them and ourselves.

Best of luck. You’re doing great.

Kindly, Katie