3 Things Lesbians Do Better Than Straight Women

Yes, it’s in part because I like women — a lot.

But it’s also because of the lifestyle. If suddenly I became a straight woman, by some sort of sorcery, I would not know how to behave. I would not fit in and would be awkward in every aspect of my life, not just my relationships.

80% of my female friends are lesbians, but I have some straight friends as well, including my best friend of many years.

And while I like all women (dah…) I feel lesbians have an edge when it comes to certain areas in life. Let’s see which ones.

1. Let Go of Societal Norms and Expectations

We do it by definition.

I’m yet to find a lesbian whose parents told her at her coming out:

“I always dreamt my daughter would turn out to like girls”

We go against the tide in a vital part of our lives: our relationships and the people we love. Once you deal with that initial struggle of being “different”, you become much better at daring in other areas too.

We ignore gender roles and create our own relationship dynamics.

We don’t get married after being in a relationship for long because that’s “the normal course”.

We don’t have children because everyone else does.

We design our own lifestyle, based on what makes sense to us. We learn, the hard way, to make ourselves seen, heard, and understood. Just the way we are.

2. Deal With Exes

My group of friends is made up of the closest friends of a girlfriend I had a few years ago. She’s in that group too. And so are some of her other exes.

Brandi Carlile, singer-songwriter and openly lesbian, shared in her memoir, Broken Horses, a story about when her ex moved out, and Brandi was already in a new relationship, with a woman named Catherine:

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“Cath and I decorated her new house… I love lesbians” — Brandi Carlile

There is no proven reason why this happens but the truth is most lesbians tend to stay friends with, at least, one of their ex’s.

My girlfriend meets her ex every now and then, and I am totally fine with that.

My straight friends don’t understand this dynamic. They make a puzzled face and scratch their heads, probably thinking this is a weird lesbian thing.

If my best friend, a woman married to a guy, went out with her ex, the husband would go crazy. So would she if it was the other way around. And most people in their friends circle would find it weird.

Lesbians’ exes are in their friends group. There is not even a way to make it feel weird, hard as you may try.

3. Sex

I realize this is shakey ground.

Sex depends on each person and each couple.

But in general, lesbians have better sex than straight women. It’s not me stating it, it’s science. These studies show that lesbians orgasm more often than their straight counterparts.

The reason is simple: women know each other’s bodies because they have one of their own to explore. It’s like a playfield that allows you to practice before you get sexy with someone else. Everyone knows that practice makes perfect.

It goes both ways: women don’t know the male body well enough to provide the best experience to their men, and men lack a lot of knowledge of the female body.

“There are many men who believe they can give their partners an orgasm by just having intercourse,” says Matty Silver, a sexual therapist in Australia. “That only happens for 20% of all women. They often need clitoral stimulation, or oral sex, for it to happen. It is one of the reasons that many heterosexual women fake their orgasm”.

Before You Leave

This is not an attack on straight women.

There are things they do a lot better than us, lesbians. Sex with men, for example. I suck at that — I suppose.

For real, straight women are great at many things. They have a better sense of fashion than most of us, for instance. And I have this unproven theory that straight relationships tend to last longer than queer ones, so they are also better at that.

Lesbian or straight, women are amazing. And, being a lesbian, let me say it… women are much better at being hot, sexy, and lovely than men.

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This post was previously published on medium.com.

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