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National Suicide Prevention Lifeline
To help callers stay safe in the short term and formulate a plan for long-term help, call specialists work with National Suicide Prevention Lifeline callers and Lifeline Crisis Chat users through a suicide-prevention model, the Applied Suicide Intervention Skills Training and de-escalation techniques.
Call: 800-273-8255
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I woke up this morning thinking about something that has not been a thought of mine for quite some time. I had this full body-mind emotion heavily weighing on me and I actually considered that maybe I would be better off saying goodbye.
This is real! It happens to you too or to someone you love or know. Most of us do not talk about it. I get that; and for good reason! You talk about these truths and people react in all sorts of ways, and if you are like me; usually in ways that don’t help you in feeling better.
If you read my author bio below, you know I am supposed to be some sort of expert on mental health recovery. Perhaps I am. However, all the more reason to speak this truth that so many of us experience and do not openly talk about.
So, I will use my privilege of being a columnist on this platform to speak directly to you, the person who is reading and who knows what I am talking about. Straight from my heart, I state openly that I don’t want people to know I sometimes think about walking away. However, I can either stay silent and miserable or speak out loud and help others, which is what I will do.
If you know what this feels like then you know the pain. If you know what this feels like then you know the benefit of sharing and supporting. Somehow, I conclude this long and hard day having found my personal power and putting it into written form for the benefit of all.
Here are 3 Things I Did To Thrive While Considering No Longer Being Alive
1 – I communicated with people who held me in high esteem.
It was quite a miracle. Upon forcing myself to go to the cafe and be social, which is a challenge I always overcome, I became the recipient of some amazing, affirming and honorable messages. A friend of mine since 2005 told me, “I owed you a ‘you’re fucking amazing Craig’ for years and years and years.” We connected, bonded, and it was mutual. This is the power of believing in miracles even when you are feeling the worst. You can actually change how you feel with your thoughts. I know this is possible.
2- I reached out to someone to make amends and they accepted.
I admit that a hesitating thought did cross my mind and I went with my gut and it was a good decision. It is also a remarkable lesson to learn. Perhaps as I felt so vulnerable and hurt, my truth was conveyed and received as most humbly intended, in that ego-crushed, deeply honest way that goes along with considering not being around much longer. I indeed have some things to think about and address and this is a good thing. Most everyone benefits when there is love and peace; at least instead of something much less pleasant.
3- I set a goal of completing one project and I did.
It is a big deal because it will help me relieve the very causes of why I think about saying goodbye. I really had to be reasonable with myself and talk myself through and I find it fulfilling to be productive, so I did something and it is a good thing. Because I can, and as it is contextually relevant; this guy who woke up unsure of tomorrow, will in one weeks time, have his book published and available in Dutch.
Ps. I love you; I love me.
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National Suicide Prevention Lifeline
To help callers stay safe in the short term and formulate a plan for long-term help, call specialists work with National Suicide Prevention Lifeline callers and Lifeline Crisis Chat users through a suicide-prevention model, the Applied Suicide Intervention Skills Training and de-escalation techniques.
Call: 800-273-8255
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Photo credit: Pixabay