3 Truths You Must Accept About Modern Dating Life

We hear it all the time.

“Dating is more difficult than it’s ever been.”

“(pronoun) sucks; you can’t find a good one out there.”

You’re already losing when you enter the dating market with a sour view. Imagine going to a restaurant and assuming the food will be terrible. I could provide a five-star chef, but you will find something wrong.

You are often doing this in your dating life too.

Instead of looking for what is right, you will automatically look for what is wrong.

A quote I love that will put this into context is, “ if you keep digging for dirt, don’t be surprised when you end up with mud on your shoes.”

There is a way to reshape your view of modern dating and find success.

Stop, and take a second to understand how the current dating market works and accept these truths. It will change your dating life.

Taxi services are dead

Remember when you were younger, and a taxi was the only form of paid transportation other than public services?

It seemed like nothing could replace the taxi industry. Then Uber came.

There were two sets of people: People who refused to adjust and make the switch and overpaid for a taxi, and those who got with the times and tried Uber.

There are two sets of people in the dating market: those waiting to bump grocery carts with the love of their life and those on apps, going to uncomfortable settings, and trying new forms of dating.

The first truth you must accept is that times have changed.

Get on every dating app and attend social events centered around meeting new people.

The dating market does not adjust to how you want to meet people.

It takes more effort than making a profile and swiping while you’re in bed watching Netflix. Take the time to represent your life in your bio and pics and have the same standard reviewing others.

Go out to social events that are not within your comfort zone but fit in the world of your interests.

Contrary to the term, dating isn’t all about going on dates. It is about becoming visible in the market. Every event you attend does not have to lead to getting a phone number, going on dates, and finding your next relationship.

Get out of the house, interact with the gender of your interests, and most importantly, put yourself out there.

You get what you give

You will find what you are looking for if it is the energy you put out.

Since you think everybody sucks, you will only find people that suck.

You might go on a date and predetermine that it is a waste of your time. Guess what? It is going to be a waste of your time.

The second truth you must accept is that your results have much to do with you and your outlook.

I am not delusional’; sometimes, it’s not a good match.

I also ask that you refrain from being delusional; sometimes, you’re not the best match.

The more frustration that builds inside you, the more it reflects in the energy you put out.

If you become tired, bored, and lack enthusiasm guess what you have become? You’ve become jaded.

It subconsciously shows in your interactions, so what you will receive back is someone who is also tired, bored, and less enthusiastic.

You won’t have a positive experience until you transition and reshape your outlook. Get excited about dating and having the opportunity to get to know someone.

Is it always going to work out and end in meeting your future spouse? Hell no. You have to be able to laugh at that thought and enjoy the process.

So what; you went on a sucky date or two. Next!

Of course, it isn’t fun

The third truth is pretty simple and easy to understand.

Of course, the dating market sucks; for now.

Stay with me.

We have all been the new kid or attended the first day of school, right? It’s nerve-wracking. You don’t know anybody, you don’t love your outfit, and you feel out of place and uncomfortable.

Getting back into the dating market gives you the same anxiety.

You have to put yourself back in an uncomfortable and uncommon place. You have to get up on a Tuesday and go to meet a stranger when you would otherwise be on the couch watching House of The Dragon.

You don’t hate dating; you dislike the change in your routine.

You don’t hate dating; you dislike getting to know a stranger.

Just like you were intimidated by that first day of school, you connected with lifelong friends after a while. The process between can suck.

The process is the process, however, and it applies to dating too.

Stay positive.

You will meet someone.

You will live happily ever after.

You are worthy.

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This post was previously published on MEDIUM.COM.

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From The Good Men Project on Medium

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The One Thing Men Want More Than Sex

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