The word ‘unapologetic’ has become synonymous with a ruthless and arrogant attitude but these confident personality traits can actually be tremendously beneficial in maintaining healthy relationships. When an individual is unapologetically themselves, they create an open and accepting environment for those closest to them to thrive in.
Google defines being ‘unapologetic’ as not acknowledging regret. However, when we recognize unapologetic people in our lives, we envy their laid-back and self-assured way of living. Their fearlessness is positive motivation. They bring certain ease. Ease that replaces the great distress that change brings to most people.
They adapt to things out of their control — acting on their epiphanies whilst the rest of the world sits back in societal cages. Incorporating these utterly unapologetic qualities will provide you with an effortless flair and adaptability and revolutionize your approach to relationships.
They Have An Indifference Of Others Opinions
The beautiful thing about unapologetic people is being around them provides you with a full-fledged ab workout. They don’t mind making a fool out of themselves for the pure enjoyment of others. Opinions of others, do not fathom this indifferent bunch which means it is an impossible task to find an unapologetic person who is fake.
There aren’t any limits to how far they will go and (the sometimes compromising) stories they will share with friends. The ‘feel-good’ element is right at the top of their list of priorities and so with that, brings exceptional confidence. They stand up for what they believe in. An incredibly firm backbone which is a solid addition to any friendship group.
Indifference is power. It provides an ease to do as you please without considering repercussions. Being around people who live so unapologetically inspires authentic living. A questioning of why outside factors have ever prevented us from pursuing something and inspiring us to live a more carefree life relieved of the everyday stresses that most people deal with.
Try to be bolder and more deliberate. The next time you’re with friends, try to tell an embarrassing story. One with some shock value, perhaps something you wouldn’t usually share. There is a vulnerability about letting people in on failures and surrendering your self-consciousness. It creates a stronger bond and allows a deeper connection to be formed. Practicing this will also help in dealing with the inevitably awkward moments that happen throughout life.
They Don’t Pass Judgement
When you are living a free and fulfilled life, it leaves no room for judgment. These types of people are very open to change and passionate about desires. They’re extremely approachable because of their accepting nature. They have a way of reassuringly flipping any setback into something productive. The perfect partner or friend to provide advice or comfort.
Last week, one of my best friends, called me in a scurry, desperately asking to meet the next day. I knew there had to be something extremely disconcerting for her to react in this way and we set up brunch the following morning. My friend — a cardiologist, has dreamed of working in a hospital since she was a toddler with a toy stethoscope. And here she was, fists tense and twitches of nervousness telling me that she was quitting medicine.
I had been the first person she’d told. She spoke of her newfound interest in Law and I couldn’t help but grin ear to ear as her face brightened when she talked about her new discovery. She was about to face an incredible amount of judgment from co-workers, friends, and family and it was filling her with immense anguish.
The fact that she had confided in me first, made me realize something special. She knew people would comment on the time and money she had wasted on training in a profession she no longer had an interest in. During life-changing times, all people need is hope and positivity rather than reminders of reality checks. The responses, stemming from my unapologetic attitude allowed acceptance and freedom that comforted her during this difficult time.
Unapologetic people wholeheartedly focus on the living of life. They believe this is what teaches us about ourselves enough to be able to form a conclusion or have an epiphany like the one that my friend arrived at. A meta sort of theory that explains away ‘mistakes’ into the logistics of being human and continuously growing.
The next time your partner, friends, or family come to you with a crazy or unexpected idea, try not to discourage them from the get-go. Don’t allow yourself to snap back with a clever remark as you perhaps usually would. Push them to speak of it further and develop their idea. Engage with them in a way that overtly shows your interest.
Ask questions. By simply showing interest you are giving the gift of faith. Faith grows potential. Motivating someone to look further within creates a safe environment for friendships and relationships. And to allow inspiration to grow is equally magical as it is contagious! Aiding someone on their journey will also fuel you with endless inspiration.
They Accept Risk
They’re wonderfully irrational. Being unapologetic often means going against the status quo. Priorities and a general approach to life are widely different from the mainstream. They use a macro perspective lens on life. Whether it’s a partner, a career, or a move across the world, they’ll do it. They’re impulsive, and rationale isn’t something they consider.
Moving through life fearlessly takes the fear of risk away, which is something that many people let control their decisions. Those who are unapologetic accept risk as a part of life rather than something to avoid. The quote, “You’re not getting out of this alive” defines risk as our friend. It is why we often hear about near-death experiences converting people into a life without fear.
These are the friends who instead of faithlessly naming the seemingly ‘impossible’ things they’d do — actually do them. They encourage you to think outside the box and inspire choices you don’t have the courage to make alone. When you are indifferent to risk, you are willing to do anything for your relationships. To go to great lengths for those you care about. You can always count on them to go above and beyond, unafraid of repercussions.
They’re ferociously optimistic adapters. “Holding on tightly and letting go lightly” is a phrase that my drama teacher used a great deal when teaching us about Mary Overlie’s technique of theatre composition. The effortlessness of commitment. Something I’ve long since incorporated into my way of living.
There is an effortless manner in which unapologetic people move through life. They fiercely chase after what they want but painlessly let go of what doesn’t work. This usually means that their security lies within the people closest to them, usually their partner. They have a strong loyalty at the core of their relationships which are at the center of their lives. This provides them with a steady ground to remain unphased by the ever-changing things around them. The things in life that we usually don’t have much control over.
An unapologetic partner will work around you. They aren’t afraid to exhaust all avenues to find a way to make a relationship work. Their willingness to try new things and make unconventional choices means that you can rest assured, you’ll have them for life.
Accepting risk not only causes you to be more fearless but provides you with openness. A willingness to try new things. The removal of the disturbingly calculated qualities that many of us have acquired. It makes you a better friend, a more accepting human, and a more compassionate partner.
Perhaps, your partner got an exciting opportunity to work abroad that you shut down immediately. These are the moments that we must reconsider. Are you preventing someone who you love from growing? Do you have more fear than guts? What is stopping you from encouraging them, or starting a new life? These are extremes, yes — but there are many smaller-scale examples that we are faced with daily.
Commit to happiness and take a risk. Encourage your friends to be daring. The best way to do this is by being a living and breathing example. The more you practice, the more your own mindset will be transformed too. Inspire those around you by living in a way where you feel alive, as often as you can.
When we look back, we romanticize everything falling into place. A partner, a job, a child. Yet why is it so hard for us to fathom that this invisible string is being created in the present moment too? When we are aware of this, we can be less anxious about the future and put less pressure on those around us. We can have confidence that our mishaps and adventures are right on track.
Friends often say that my reckless ways inspire them. My experiences of fearlessness cause them to make decisions without considering the social constraints that otherwise would’ve prevented them. Openness leads to a rich life full of interests and intrigues. A life that takes on an unapologetic route. A life that inspires those who witness it.
Relationships can go stale just as much as the veggies in our kitchens. The most effective way of keeping them fresh is by making each other better. Forcing each other to be stronger and adapting to each other’s changes. When we grow together, we form stronger bonds than time on the clock could ever form.
This post was previously published on Medium.com.
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