Infatuation is much more prevalent, yet it’s not a problem to feel that way. What people do with it is the problem. They treat it like love rather than recognizing and embracing it for what it is. As a result, you could start to have unrealistic expectations for your relationship. Realistically, you can never commit to someone you’re merely enamoured with for the rest of your life. But that doesn’t imply that people don’t make an effort.
You might hurt yourself or possibly hurt someone else in this way. It would be beneficial if you could tell the two emotions apart. One will result in a brief, but enjoyable, relationship. The second will result in a lifetime of bliss spent with your soul mate.
What Exactly Is An Infatuation?
People begin to feel infatuation as early as childhood. You are first mesmerized by items. You have a favorite toy that you never allow out of your sight. You read one book so frequently that you can nearly memorize it. As you become older, you start to find yourself drawn to other individuals. You develop feelings for a classmate and begin to believe they are your ultimate love. You continue to picture your life with them even when they aren’t there. And when those hopes don’t come true, your heart is devastated.
According to research, infatuation lacks the qualities of connection and empathy necessary for real love. Instead, it’s a condition that comes before love. However, this does not imply that infatuation necessarily precedes love. It simply implies that love frequently develops from infatuation. Given that infatuation is defined as an acute state of physical and psychological excitement, this progression makes sense. When you fall in love, your thoughts start to race and worry you constantly. Additionally, you’ll invent events that are highly unlikely to occur. Finally, as you won’t be able to get those ideas out of your brain, you’ll start fretting and overthinking.
Although there isn’t a definitive description in the scientific literature just yet, those seem to be the most typical traits. Nevertheless, they concur that infatuation may happen to anybody, regardless of age or culture. It doesn’t always follow that you haven’t heard of the idea if you weren’t familiar with the phrase. Although you may be more familiar with it by another term, such as puppy love, passionate love, or obsessive love. But the fact that “love” appears in all of these names confuses people.
Yes, infatuation may be a form of love. But when people hear the word “love,” they do not anticipate it. This infatuation will grow poisonous if it doesn’t materialize into anything soon. You cannot remain in a relationship with someone you are only fascinated with and anticipate success after a few years. You won’t go that far, or you’ll abuse each other instead.
4 Differences Between Infatuation and True Love
Everyone should feel infatuated once in their lives. It teaches you the fundamental concepts of attraction and love. But you can only do that if you can tell the difference between infatuation and real love. Here are four distinctions between real love and infatuation to help clear up any confusion.
1. Infatuation Is All About Appearances
Meeting new individuals and determining whether to give them a chance based on your initial impressions is the foundation of dating. Therefore, it is not surprising that partnerships begin on the surface. But looks are everything in these sorts of relationships. They are concerned about someone’s appearance or their conduct in public. However, genuine love necessitates a greater level of intimacy.
To fall in love, one must be aware of and accepting of all aspects of the other. You should be aware of their annoying habits and how to prevent treading on each other’s toes. But when you are captivated, that does not happen. You are solely concerned with appearances at that point. For you, it suffices if they have a reasonable personality and are attractive. Because you fail to recognize your partner’s flaws, this conduct is harmful.
You may have to put up with someone abusing or mistreating you. It would be beneficial if you understood that just because the cover is attractive doesn’t necessarily indicate the contents are as well. When you do find love, appearance won’t matter as much. True love is more than just attraction, but it still plays a vital role. Someone you love is always attractive in your eyes because of how much you care about them.
2. Infatuation Is Obsessive. True Love Is Compassionate
If we were to choose one word to sum up infatuation, it would be “obsessive.” Your obsession with that individual consumes all of your thoughts. You are always concerned with their activities and the people they are with. Society’s definition of romance is that your lover should be in your thoughts at all times. People long for passion like that. But they fail to see how harmful these persistent beliefs are.
As it frequently happens with love, passion may turn into obsession very fast. You don’t only want to be sure that your spouse is secure and content. You always want to be informed of everything they do. Most likely, you want to spend every second of their lives with them as well.
However, this is never how genuine love feels. You trust them, so you don’t worry about what they’re doing all the time. Since you are aware that you have plenty of time, you never press them to spend it with you. Respect their hectic schedule if it applies. A caring connection is one like this.
You are delighted that you can live your life together and you want to see your spouse develop. Since you know they’ll fill you in on their day when they come home, you don’t wonder about them constantly. This relationship is more responsible and tolerant.
3. True Love Is Honorable And Kind
Because it is always about you rather than the other person, infatuation is frequently harmful. You fall in love with someone without even having to know them. As a result, infatuation is extremely narcissistic. It’s all about what you want and what you enjoy; the other person’s preferences are never a consideration. So even if you start dating someone you’re fascinated with, your relationship won’t be founded on mutual respect.
You’ll just decide to do it on the spur of the moment. Both you and the person you’re with won’t value the relationship. You run the risk of putting each other down instead of being sympathetic. Someone who is only content if you behave by their perception of you is possible to end up with. And most likely, you’ll treat them similarly.
True love, however, can only exist between two individuals who decide to work together to create something. Respect will be something you both cherish in those circumstances. Therefore, you’ll strive to make it a part of your union. Additionally, you’ll have empathy. You’ll discover that you’re prepared to make sacrifices to make your lover happy. The wonderful thing is that they will act similarly in return.
Even if it means making some compromises, your spouse will want to make you happy. You’ll constantly feel loved and secure. You won’t worry about their whereabouts or what they’re doing. They revere you, and you have faith in them to grant them freedom. Your life will not be spent in this relationship. Instead, the partnership will enhance an already fulfilling way of life.
4. Infatuation Is Not a Permanent State
Everyone wants to meet their true love when they’re young and spend the rest of their lives with them. Some people are fortunate enough to experience that type of love. However, most people have several brief relationships before finding the right one. This is because infatuation is a weak basis for any kind of relationship.
Most likely, the worst romantic blunder you can make is to marry someone you are infatuated with. Most likely, the couple will divorce. Furthermore, you’ll never be happy even if it doesn’t. Because it is anxiety-provoking and compulsive, infatuation will constantly force you to question your relationship. You won’t ever truly feel as though you can trust them. You’ll act rashly as a result of your nervousness.
You’ll frequently accuse them of lying or being unfaithful. However, even if that doesn’t happen, other problems will emerge. Additionally, there is a lack of empathy, making it difficult to resolve disputes. But all of those problems will vanish if you meet real love. You will still argue occasionally, that much is certain. But you’ll have faith in them and realize how much they care about you.
You and your partner will always find a solution to disagreements because you are aware that you are always up against the outside world. You will always work as a team and put each other’s needs ahead of your pride. You’ll even notice a change in the dynamic since you won’t be concerned about losing them. All of these contribute to the longevity of these relationships.
Final Thoughts on Some Differences Between Infatuation and True Love
Finding and navigating love may be challenging. You’ll probably experience every kind of love there is, and there are many of them. Don’t worry if you haven’t yet met your true love. You have an endless amount of time. That might not be the case, even if you have seen them. You can be mistakenly taking someone’s infatuation for love.
It’s common to experience infatuation. Unfortunately, it frequently causes people to behave in an unreasonable or harmful manner. Because it is arrogant and obsessive, infatuation is quite different from real love. Selflessness, empathy, respect, and compassion are characteristics of true love. With infatuation, that is not the case. Just looking at them gives you that impression.
Due to how blinded you get in such a situation, you may even choose to disregard warning signs. Perhaps there is genuine passion in this connection, but it cannot last. True love is more steady and forgiving. You’ll realize there’s no urgency after you’ve found the one. You have plenty of time to create a fulfilling life with the person you love.
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This post was previously published on medium.com.
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