4 Most Practical Ways to Spice up Your Long-Term Relationship

I get bored pretty easily in a relationship. This feeling usually leads me to overthink stuff and start questioning whether the person I’m currently with is the right one or not.

I thought I was the only one feeling this way — but apparently, this boredom feeling is more common in real life. It’s just that many couples don’t want to share it.

If you’ve been in a long-term relationship for years, you know that feeling of boredom at least once in a while. But to keep it healthy and thriving, it’s our job to actively look for ways to make it fun again.

So when things get really boring and stagnant for too long, here are what my partner and I usually do:

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Take a break from each other

Not many couples know the importance of taking a break from each other. It can bring back the spark if you do it correctly.

My partner and I have this routine where we’ll speak less every time we’re with our family. I took a long leave from work this week to spend time with my mom in the village, and I haven’t talked to my partner over the phone for the whole week.

People from the outside might think this is a weird arrangement, but we both always find this to always successfully strengthen our bonds when we reunite.

We finally have room to miss each other.

When you talk to your partner 24/7 and never spend some time apart, you’re going to find it hard to appreciate them and what they do for you. Those actions will get overlooked. Taking a break and spending some time alone will prevent that issue from happening.

Try out new things together

Spending so much time with your partner can make you think that you know them very well. But the truth is, people, change. Your partner won’t stay the same, they have different interests over time, and if you don’t keep up with it, you’ll be left behind, which eventually leads you both drifting apart.

To avoid this, you can always come up with someone new to try out together. My partner is very good at this. He likes to suggest new activities we can do on the weekends, even when we’re in a long-distance.

When both people are always willing and be open to seeking new things in life together, your relationship will feel so much lighter and less boring.

Say appreciation to each other

If there’s one thing that I noticed most people in a long-term relationship do, it’s that they tend to take many small things for granted. I don’t blame them, though.

Life can get busy, and when things in our love life kind of settle down, we’d focus on other things such as jobs and money. Most times, we get caught up in those things and forget how to give love to our partners.

It’s not actually that hard when you think about it. You just need to spare at least 5 minutes a day to tell your partner that you’re grateful and still love them the same.

I know it looks like nothing changes, but again, we all need reassurance once in a while. Just because you’re feeling great about your love life, that doesn’t mean your partner feels the same.

The only way to find out is to do a check-in on how their feelings and make sure they know you’re still in it for the long run.

Revisit old photos together

My partner and I like to do this when we feel like we run out of new things to do together. Revisiting our album photos is the smallest yet quickest thing you can do to reconnect with your partner emotionally.

There’s nothing more beautiful than realizing how far you both have gone. Relationships aren’t easy. And the fact that you’re still together after years later is something worth remembering.

This is also why I like to take pictures as much as I can whenever my partner and I live in the same place. Those memories are priceless.

You can try this on a cozy Friday night. Instead of trying to think about what movie to watch next, just sit down and look at your old photos together. Trust me, you’ll wake up the next morning with a renewed love for your partner.

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Parting words

Let’s be honest.

Too many couples call it quits by the time boredom hits them. In their words, “we fell out of love.” But expecting to be madly in love with each other all the time isn’t possible, especially when you’ve been in a long-term relationship.

How could it be? You’ve known that person for years — there’s nothing new about them that excites you anymore.

However, that doesn’t mean the love dies, and you should go separate ways. I always see boredom in a long-term relationship as a reminder that we both need to do something to bring back the sparks.

After all, love is a verb, right? When we stop putting in the effort, the feelings fade away too.

Hitting boredom means you and your partner need a change in your relationship. Don’t overthink it or even question why the spark isn’t there anymore.

The better question will be, “how can we bring them back?”

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I write about all things that you might struggle with within your love life. My main goal is to make you feel less alone on your journey. If you resonate with my stories, stay in tune by becoming a Medium member here.

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This post was previously published on medium.com.

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