4 Thoughts I Wish Single Women Would Leave in 2021

We’ve all aware of red flags.

But what about the toxic thoughts surrounding women and love? Letting go can feel like releasing a balloon. You become light with the prospect of living how you envision your life.

Many of these thoughts are self-imposed. Or society conditioning women to view relationships in a limited way.

I’ve been working on releasing these beliefs. Care to join me? Here are the four romantic expectations I no longer care about upholding.

Let’s get started!

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1. Controversial thinking can set you free

You will meet amazing men. True. There will also be jerks, douchebags, and creeps in your dating history. But everyone won’t be your soulmate. In other instances, you will meet a partner who seems like a textbook great match at the wrong time.

There’ll be philosophical conversations. Several moments where you feel understood by someone you love. Times when your vision blurs because you learn to care about the passions of your love interest. Hand holding. And a few of the romance tropes often featured in scripted entertainment. But guess what? You can date for love, not marriage.

It’s not a coping or defense mechanism because you are single.

This perspective is a freeing way to frame dating. We can find love, success, and inspiration in the places we least expect. Women are like men — some want love, security, or sex. These desires are hard to balance with figuring out your career, being happy, and working.

Throw in changing romance cultures, and dating gets harder. But here is a comforting thought.

If manifestation and being open to love do not get you down the aisle, you can enjoy being single. Why? Because someone is out there for you — it may be in a friendly capacity.

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2. Happiness is not conditional.

As Rihanna said, you don’t need a man.

You can be couple goals, have relationship montages, and go on vacations with your partner. Then break up, fall in love with being single, and cheer for your friends who are entering marriage.

Moms and aunts want happiness for the younger women in their families. Yet, these women are often already happy. And these love-related questions are making daughters and nieces stressed.

How ironic?

As women and feminists, we can be happy in and out of relationships. It is also essential to remember that happiness within a relationship is no greater than joy as a single person.

Photo by PeopleImages on iStock

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3. Some tips are like pop-up advertisements

It doesn’t matter how many times you visit a website. The pop-up advertisement will arrive within minutes of your visit. There is nothing you can do to change this reality. Except try to avoid the site. Or click it off fast.

If someone has a tip about babies or marriage, try not to engage. That’s the fastest way to blow past this topic. It’s also a good idea to identify and share your current emotions to feel better during these conversations.

Even you can fall into the trap of giving unsolicited advice. Or say remarks that unintentionally make others uncomfortable. Yes, we can tell people what not to say to make social gatherings less triggering. But sometimes, it is an honest mistake.

I hope we, as women, can learn to let comments and other people’s opinions have little impact on how we feel about ourselves.

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4. Age only matters when you’re under the legal limit

I listen to Gary Vee’s podcast. He often says life begins when you are 40. Every age under this is young.

And I say when you’re older than 21, age doesn’t matter, period. You can find love and have kids at any age via adoption or surrogate. Age is not a reason to settle. Nor a reason to give up.

We go through so many societal age milestones from 1 to 21. Why then do we choose to self-impose more rules and limits?

Let people’s eyes bulge and their jaws drop. Do you at any age.

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This post was previously published on medium.com.

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