I am never bored. Except when I’m with folks I click with. One of my philosophies is this. I adore my alone time and depend on it like air.
I schedule time for these things every week, and I’ve been to cafes, parks, libraries, jewelry stores, and other solo destinations.
I admit to being a bit of a romantic realist, but three years ago, things were very different.
I had my reasons for looking for from-comm-style kind of love in places like bus stops, libraries, cafés, watercolor lessons, a rainy walk back to my hostel, volunteering opportunities, the gym, and even on a noisy bridge at night with string lights.
Since I was young, I’ve been told that the best way to live your life is to study for 23 years, get married, start a family, and then find love (the guy your family, your neighbor, your high school neighbor, your wedding event planner would approve of). I had completed the first three and was now on stage 4. I anticipated it would be simple.
Finding the individual who came up with this terrible idea has been on my to-do list ever since.
Self-date concepts are also clever marketing strategies. Have you observed that “self-date” concepts start to appear in February?
It may be found everywhere, including in scented candles, cafes that are offering discounts, and beauty items. How foolish of you to think that everyone decided to celebrate singles all of a sudden!
In today’s market, self-date promotions are just as important as the Valentine’s Day campaign. Why, oh why, would any company want to overlook the wealthy singles crowd?
Therefore, think carefully before spending money on an experience that promises to honor you.
This is what five years of self-dating have taught me:
1 Self-Dating is not about apologizing to all the guys who declined your invitation to a date.
You are a stunning, intelligent, and unmarried woman. Guys didn’t notice you at all, Rashmi (*sigh*). By taking yourself out on self-dates, you are giving yourself the LOVE you were meant to receive. I am sorry!
I exactly began off like that, with a passive-aggressive attitude. It would take me three years to realize that nobody cares.
apart from my mother.
2. You will encounter incredible people, perhaps without dating prospects.
Attending a calligraphy lesson was one of my ideas for a self-date
I created priceless moments and lifelong friendships.
There is no proper or incorrect method.
Don’t risk losing your uniqueness in your quest to step beyond your comfort zone.
Photo by Sergei Solo on Unsplash
I’ve never dressed in my tiny black dress, sat alone in a fancy restaurant, and eaten. I would be ashamed. Despite being a huge romantic, I find it difficult to send myself a love letter without coming out as phony.
I only abide by one rule: Do what makes me happy.
3. Self-dating is not just for single people. It is a yearly custom. and necessary to have wholesome connections.
No matter how much we are loved or how fortunate we are to have wonderful people in our lives, we can only receive and give when we are selflessly loving. Self-dates are a way to celebrate your own company and to learn the important lesson that we are the only ones in this world who can make ourselves happy.
4. You’ll experience jealousy and frustration
You’ll be confronted by all of your inner demons. On a busy day, you won’t be able to get tables, and we’re planning to say hi to will show up with his gorgeous girlfriend. You will also see loved-up couples who look like they just stepped out of Instagram, kids who are hiding under your table and asking you to keep quiet, and children who are asking you to keep quiet. The universe will appear unfair.
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This post was previously published on medium.com.
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You may also like these posts on The Good Men Project:
White Fragility: Talking to White People About Racism | Escape the “Act Like a Man” Box | The Lack of Gentle Platonic Touch in Men’s Lives is a Killer | What We Talk About When We Talk About Men |
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Photo credit: Laura Fuhrman on Unsplash