4 Unconscious Signs That You’re in Love

Many people find the words ‘I love you’ difficult to say aloud. It carries a lot of meaning, and sometimes we’re afraid because we don’t even know if the other person will say those words back. Whichever way you look at it, though, we often show the signs of being in love long before we pick up the courage to say those special words.

The unconscious mind knows what we’re about to say before we say it, and it knows how we feel before we even realise what we’re feeling. It has a way of making us act differently around a person, and those feelings and emotions sometimes increase in intensity the more time we spend with them. It’s not love at first sight; it’s love after each memory, after each embrace and after each heartfelt conversation.

Most of us will share the same emotions when we go through different experiences, and love is no different. So the next time you’re with your special person, notice how you feel. If it’s any of these unconscious signs, then perhaps you should ask yourself how you really feel towards them.

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1. You’re always thinking about them

I remember lying in bed one night trying to sleep when something odd came to mind about someone. I imagined what it would be like if they were there next to me. I stretched out my hand and imagined that I was embracing theirs. I imagined rolling over and running my fingers through their hair. I missed their face, their sweet scent and the warmth of their smile.

And then it happened again. I was yearning for them. That’s when I knew that I loved them.

When you genuinely care for someone, you’re always thinking about them. Parents do this all the time, and we sometimes misinterpret it as annoying and overbearing. It’s not because they don’t want you to enjoy life; it’s because they love you and they’re thinking about your safety and wellbeing.

When we truly care for someone, those feelings become instinct, and we can’t control them.

When you’re not with them every single day, and when you’re on your own, your mind might wander, and you’ll start to miss them. Not just their presence but everything from the sound of their voice to the smell of their favourite fragrance to the touch of their fingers.

The senses are a powerful way of reminding us about someone, and when you start to envision them, that’s when you know there is something real.

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2. You want what’s best for them

During one of our conversations, she said she had something exciting to share with me. She would work on a very exciting work project that would put her in a favourable light, not just with her team but also with the entire senior leadership team.

I was beaming with joy. I was so happy for her and wanted to see her succeed. I wanted her to go further and overachieve, not just in her career but in her life. And I wanted those things because I truly loved her.

One of the hallmarks of a great relationship is when both partners can support each other mentally. By being there for one another, you can accomplish anything.

When we do something great, we want to share it with others, but we choose who we share our news with carefully. If someone you love tells you about a recent accomplishment, how you react can sometimes say a lot.

You’re not only happy for them, but you’re also ecstatic. You want them to continue on that trajectory, and you want them to get even better. You encourage them to do more, to be more. You want what’s best for them, and you’re willing to help them in every way possible to reach that end goal.

And we’re not talking about amazing news either. Even something as trivial as them getting through a stressful day can make us feel proud. Just like a parent is proud of their child because they love them, we feel proud of someone because we love them.

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3. You’re always talking to them

I realised that I was unconsciously in love when I discovered that I would find any excuse to talk to that person. Every morning, we’d message each other and spend the early hours lazily texting before work. We’d call each other when working from home and doing mundane tasks. And in the evenings, we’d be texting back and forth throughout the night.

They became a part of my routine, and even during busy periods, we’d try to find time to connect. I quickly realised that I’d feel different if we didn’t have these interactions. They were a part of my life, and I didn’t want that to stop.

The best relationships are when two people can talk about anything and everything. And it doesn’t always have to be romantic either. You can joke, gossip, tease and have deep conversations. Being able to communicate means that you trust them and that they trust you. And we all know that trust is a key part of any relationship.

The best relationships are when you’re not just their romantic partner, but their best friend too.

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4. You see a future with them

From the very first time we visited a museum exhibition, we would talk about what it would be like if I was a Roman emperor and if she was my empress. How I’d be a good ruler, and she would get all the gossip from the other nobles. We’d be the best, and no one would be able to overthrow us.

What started as an inside joke became something much bigger. We’d use it as an analogy to talk about our own futures. How we’d build an empire together and do great things. Over time, we became less abstract about what this empire meant, and it dawned on us that it was no longer an inside joke.

It was real.

We saw a future with each other where we would build a real empire together. Perhaps not one as grand as the Romans, but it would still be our own.

When you date someone and start seeing them as your person, that’s when you know you’ve reached a special moment. You can picture yourself living together, going on amazing trips, and so much more.

We don’t have these thoughts with everyone. We only have them with the people we love. If you’re already thinking about someone in that way, then perhaps it’s time to acknowledge that you do see them as something more.

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Love isn’t a scary thing. It’s only scary when you don’t know if the other person feels the same way. But you don’t always have to say the words to understand how they feel. The unconscious signs can begin to show earlier than you’d expect them to.

The next time you see them, pay attention and notice. Does seeing them give you a sense of joy and happiness? Do you intently listen to everything they say, no matter how trivial it is?

If you do, then notice what happens when you’re apart. Do you think about them, miss them and crave to see them again?

Because if you do have those feelings, then it’s pretty clear what your unconscious mind is telling you. That you’re in love.

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This post was previously published on medium.com.

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