A man’s got to do what a man’s got to do — in times of extreme difficulty doing these four things will certainly help.
In our daily lives we deal with adverse and difficult situations. Sometimes they escalate from moderate to an extreme. There are ways to cope with this, but often times those events seem to eclipse the ability to overcome them. Just a little personal story — in the wake of hurricane Irene in 2011 my family and I were left homeless. Pretty adverse situation. It’s how we handled that situation, and all of the other ones life has thrown at us that we’re able to overcome seemingly impossible situations and really succeed in our lives.
In my roles as a man, husband, and father I’ve found and employed four ways that helped me to overcome these adverse situations; keeping our perspective, surrounding ourselves with nurturing people, focusing on our priorities, and moving forward by taking action.
Keeping Your Perspective
Let’s see … Hurricane, check. Lost home and most of our stuff, check. Wife and kids alive and healthy, check. Until we got our feet back on the ground again, I was counting my blessings. We went from being homeless and staying between hotels and family for two months to being in a new home in the third one.
I kept my focus on what I still had, which was the family that surrounded me and the fact that everything else was replaceable. I didn’t focus on the negative. I understood that life had thrown me a curve ball and my job was to catch it.
Surrounding Yourself With Nurturing People
Like many men, I’d not been open to receiving help during my life, yet I found myself at the point of needing it. Having people help me always made me feel somewhat inferior or inadequate. These positive helping and caring individuals that surrounded me during that time were able to help lift me up in one of the most difficult times in my life.
They really focused on the relationship we had and they knew that the effort they put back into me was something that was worthwhile. I realized the value of my relationships at that point and made a commitment to solidify them moving forward.
Focusing On Your Priorities
Again, home, normalcy, family, many things are happening at once. A lot of outside and inside agendas are popping up when you’re dealing with tough times. It is not just about that situation. You also have life happening at the same time.
Focus on the things that you need to be taking care of. For myself, it was finding a place that was permanent for my wife and our kids, giving my children a sense of normalcy. My wife would drive the kids to their school every morning from the hotel or from my in-laws to keep them in a familiar routine and to remind them that this situation didn’t define us.
Taking Action in Order to Move Forward
You don’t want to dwell on what was. It creates depression, it creates negative feelings. You’ve got to move forward, you’ve got to go ahead and not live in that past, that moment in time. My family and I could have easily dwelt on the fact that most of our possessions and remembrances of the past were gone. Yet we chose to begin anew. Where are you looking to take it, moving forward or simply looking backwards?
You have to take one step, even if it is a baby step forward into the next course of action. That’s the second part of this last step, putting one foot in front of the other with purpose. For us it was taking control of the situation. Realtor, check. Insurance, banking and mortgage, check. Wife and kids in a home and resuming normalcy, check. We put one actionable task in front of the other, until we found our desired outcome.
Looking back, those four things helped with dealing with a negative situation in my personal life. I’ve used the same four items for my professional career as well and they’ve made all the difference.
Does one of these four resonate with you?