5 Clear Signs You’re Ready for a New Relationship

“How do I know I’m ready for a new relationship?” is the most asked question when it comes to relationships.

The better question is, “how do I know I’m ready to build a healthy relationship this time?”

Because being with someone is easy, but trying to make it long-lasting and healthy at the same time is a very hard task.

No point in being in a new relationship if you still think it’s just “another one” to try out. I do believe the best relationship happens when you have a clear and strong intention from the beginning.

With that being said, you’re ready if these signs are there:

1. You no longer think of your ex and their qualities

There’s a difference between having memories of your ex cross your mind once in a while and putting the actual effort to think about them all the time.

This also goes when you have a date with someone. Yet, in your head, you still compare their qualities with your ex’s.

If the breakup is still fresh, that’d be understandable. After all, no one says the pain is easy to handle.

However, what if it’s been a couple of years, and you still often think about your ex?

You need to reevaluate the patterns of your thoughts. At some point, you can’t keep being stuck in the past.

You need to decide what you’re going to do. Are you moving on for real? Or maybe you think you want to come back to your ex.

If the latter is the answer, then at least give your best shot to get a second chance. Don’t just get stuck in between, as it’s one of the worst feelings out there.

However, if you already stop thinking about your ex and have zero desire to get back together, it’s a good sign.

You’re truly over it and can now start a new relationship with someone new.

2. You already forgave whatever happened in your past relationship.

You made mistakes. Maybe you lied or ruined your past relationship — which makes it harder for you to start a new one.

Let me remind you that everyone screwed up at least once in their lifetime. But, they decided to move on. They forgive themselves for making those mistakes.

Just because your past relationship has failed you, it doesn’t mean you can’t start over.

I genuinely think no one’s ever innocent. As much as we like to always be the victim when things don’t work out, there were times too, when we broke someone’s heart.

And those whore able to move forward are the ones who acknowledge that they were indeed wrong. But they learn from the lessons, so they can be a better partner in the future.

3. You aren’t interested in playing the rebound game

People think doing a rebound will only hurt the other person. They underestimate the impacts it has on themselves and their wounds from the past relationship.

Sure, being the rebound girl/guy sucks.

But you know what sucks even more? Knowing you haven’t exactly moved on from your ex, yet using someone new to fulfill the void.

That’s petty — whether you like to admit it or not.

If you are ready for a new relationship, you put everything that happened in the past behind.

You genuinely want this new person to be in your life. So, stop thinking, “I’ll give this a try to see if I’m still enough for someone.”

4. Your cup is full, and you don’t expect this relationship to make you happy.

You read it everywhere, “no one can make your cup full” type of quote all the time.

What does that even mean?

I used to cringe when I heard such quotes. Because back then, I still thought being in a relationship would make me happy. I thought it’d take away all my sadness and misery.

It’s no surprise I let go (and ruined) several relationships in the past because they didn’t make me “happy”.

Things only started to change when I focused on myself and what I could do to make myself happy. It means I let go of the expectations that there’s this one person out there who will do the job.

And when you do that, building a healthy relationship is no longer a hassle since you have fewer expectations of what it could do to your life.

5. You have overcome your false beliefs about relationships.

There are a lot of (literally) false relationship beliefs out there that ruin people’s love lives. Small things, such as expecting your partner to make you happy or thinking a relationship will change your life for the better.

Those are the most common false beliefs I grew up with. And I can assure you, it’s hard to build a healthy relationship when you haven’t overcome them.

Part of the signs you’re ready for a new beginning is when you no longer buy those overly romantic ideas from Disney. You don’t just believe them, but you question them.

And when you do it long enough, you’ll reach this point where you’re better off without your old beliefs. Instead, you start to adopt these new, healthier, more practical beliefs about relationships.

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Parting Words

Asking others whether or not you should commit to someone is a waste of time. I did this mistake a lot when I didn’t trust myself and made decisions based on what people around me thought of it.

That led to many more heartbreaks and confusion in my love life.

If you’re reading this, I’d highly recommend you spend more time with yourself and ask some real, deep questions. Are you ready to devote your time and energy to a new relationship?

This article I wrote is merely a little guidance on whether or not you’re ready. At the end of the day, it’s you who knows what’s best for you.

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This post was previously published on medium.com.

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