Some men believe that whatever problems they encounter in life, they have to deal with them on their own, that asking for somebody else’s help is a sign of weakness and inability to take care of themselves. Such self-sufficiency is praiseworthy; unfortunately, there are things one cannot stand against without somebody else’s help. Some such attempts will simply lead nowhere good and sometimes, catastrophic consequences may ensue.
1. Depression
Depression isn’t just a fit of bad mood, as some people imagine it to be. It is a complex psychiatric syndrome with a wide range of influences on both mental and physical health. By its very definition it suppresses activity, inhibits ability to concentrate, causes constant fatigue, indecision and apathy – what are the chances that a person suffering from this set of symptoms will find it in himself to fight them back without outside assistance?
When you feel that your depression is something more than temporary low spirits, there is nothing shameful about asking for help—on the contrary, it is a sign of maturity.
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It is useless to just say to yourself to buck up and do your job—depression undermines every aspect of your life, and your rational decision to get better is about as helpful as in the case of a broken leg. When you feel that your depression is something more than temporary low spirits, there is nothing shameful about asking for help—on the contrary, it is a sign of maturity.
2. Addiction
Whether you believe addiction is a disease or a conscious choice is beside the point. No matter whether an addict perceives himself as ill or a weak-willed person, he can benefit from help either way. The thing is, addiction to a substance leads to physical changes in the brain, inhibiting reasonable decision-making and controlling behavior.
Firstly, knowing about your condition will help those around you better understand you. Secondly, it will make dealing with the illness that much easier.
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Perhaps an addict can fight off his addiction through willpower alone—but nothing protects him from a relapse, and in addition to that, detoxing from many substances can be quite dangerous and even fatal. That is why getting help isn’t just desirable but often crucial.
3. Chronic Illness
Hiding a chronic illness, however seemingly insignificant, from those around you isn’t going to benefit any of you in the long run. Whether you do it out of shame or a misguided wish to avoid bothering them, it doesn’t help either you or them. Firstly, knowing about your condition will help those around you better understand you. Secondly, it will make dealing with the illness that much easier.
4. Loss
When you’ve just lost somebody important to you, life needs serious reevaluation and readjustment. Some people may feel that they don’t need any help in these periods and simply have to be alone with themselves for a period of time to get to grips with the new situation and allow the grief and feeling of emptiness to evolve into something more constructive. Some may even really manage to do so.
You may want to be alone, but in fact it may be not what you really need.
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However, not everybody is so sturdy, and quite often you may not even feel or understand that you need help—either from your loved ones or from counselling. You may want to be alone, but in fact it may be not what you really need.
5. Gambling
Gambling lies in a grey area between being and not being an addiction. Some claim that it has all the symptoms of one, others believe that it is different. Whatever is your position, gambling problem is, well, a problem—and one you will have hard time tackling on your own. If you want to help yourself, you should admit you suffer from this issue, tell those around you about it, and let them help you in reclaiming your life. Don’t lie to yourself out of false pride – the ultimate result is much more important.
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Humans are social animals; some are more, some are less so. But every one of us sometimes encounters problems that cannot be solved on our own – and knowing how to recognize them and when to ask for help is the difference between self-sufficiency and sheer stubbornness.
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Talking about procrastination and lack of willpower, I’ve been struggling with mine for the last 10 years and read countless books and self help methods. Here is what I’m having best results with. First of all, procrastination bulldozer method has worked wonders for me. I highly recommend you apply it. Secondly, whenever you have a task that takes less than 5 minutes to do, do it right away. No delays. I’m really starting to take control of my life now.