Why one sexual partner is all I’ll ever need.
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A while ago, my husband answered a question on an online forum about comparing sexual partners. He was happy to publicly admit that he’s only ever had one partner and that this has allowed him to explore many different ways of communicating love physically. Also, that we have learned some pretty awesome things together, and that he’s happy to not have anyone to compare me to.
We openly talk about our experiences and about what we find the most fun.
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There’s this general attitude in the West that monogamy is an impossible ideal, but the truth is that many people choose to only have one partner. Perhaps we’re not the norm, but we’re not the only “anomalies,” either. Here’s why only ever having one partner has made our sex life so incredibly awesome.
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1. We don’t compare.
Neither I nor my husband will ever wish we did things like “so and so.” Having only had sex with each other, there’s nothing to compare our experiences too, except previous encounters with each other. We openly talk about our experiences and about what we find the most fun and the most pleasurable.
2. We have sex far more frequently than most couples we know.
We are constantly learning new ways to pleasure one another; and the more we learn, the more we want to find out. This means more frequent sex than some other couples we know, even with three kids in the house. We also had far more sex as a newly married couple than most people we knew.
3. We have a special bond that will never be broken.
It’s so special to know that no one has been as close physically with my husband as I have. It’s a bond we will share forever because we believe marriage is forever. Knowing that I’m the only one who knows him this intimately is incredibly significant in our relationship.
4. We have grown and learned together, in the bedroom and beyond.
Having been inexperienced in the bedroom, my husband and I have learned with and from each other about what works and what doesn’t in bed. Our open communication policy in the bedroom means that communicating well elsewhere is even easier.
5. After ten years of marriage, I still can’t get enough of him.
Maybe casual sex works for some people, but for my husband and I, sex is an incredibly personal and intimate endeavor.
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I don’t get tired “of the same old thing,” because we never do the “same old thing.” How you choose to lead a monogamous sex life makes all the difference. My husband is the sexiest man I know, and there’s no one else I’d ever want to be this close with. The man who has been there for me for the long haul, who has seen my children being born, who’s willing to be with me through thick and thin and always work things out. There’s no one else I’d rather share this intimate of a physical bond with. The longer we’re married, and the more we show our long-lasting love for each other, the more the physical expression of that love appeals to me.
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Maybe casual sex works for some people, but for my husband and I, sex is an incredibly personal and intimate endeavor, and there’s no one else we’d rather do it with, than the people we committed our whole lives to.
What’s your take on monogamy?
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Photo: Flickr/ Sabine T.
This is beautiful Mariana.
I take your view. When people have experienced lots of sexual partners, I really think it creates this “always looking for the next best thing” mentality. I find it hard to believe how it could possibly be otherwise.
Though I am divorced, I still do believe in monogamy. Maybe not love anymore. So, it is very importance that people be open, honest and forthright about their sexual past. It truly does matter as much as people want to deny it.
Great piece.
Thank you…
Thanks Jules,
You will love again… you’re not broken; just bent 🙂
Love is a funny thing. It has a way of grasping us just as we start to believe it doesn’t exist anymore.
I wish you all the best.