Many of us can fall in love, but how many of us can maintain the relationships for a long time? Thinking back on everything that happened for the past decade, these are some things I have realized the hard way.
Know what hurts them — and avoid doing it
Photo by Joanna Nix-Walkup on Unsplash
One of the most important things you have to know in a relationship is, knowing the likes and dislikes of your partner.
But even more important to know are the things that hurt them.
If they feel hurt from the topic of their toxic family, don’t try to talk about it. If they are hurt by feeling abandoned, don’t leave them unexpectedly.
Knowing what hurts them, and avoiding them will bring less drama and more harmony into your relationship.
But sometimes the way you see life itself may be hurtful to them. That’s why you should always try to date within your level of understanding. For more information on that, read the following article.
Know their Pet Peeves
We often think we are sensitive and we know our partner, but the truth is often times we don’t know.
People are different and the concerns they could be sensitive to are various. Therefore always look for clues that will show their sensitive concerns aka pet peeves.
Someone may want a good morning kiss, and someone may absolutely hate it. Someone else might want your complete attention when you talk to them, and someone wouldn’t mind talking to you while playing games. It depends.
Learning your partner’s pet peeves may bring your relationship a long way.
Don’t Assume Things
One of my old friends always used to chant a sentence.
“Assumptions are dangerous.”
They indeed are. Don’t ever make assumptions about your partner or what they do or did. Always talk and communicate about the things that bother you instead of assuming things.
On the other hand, don’t assume their personality either. Just because they were cautious and worried about something, don’t always tag them as a pessimist. It hurts and it’s totally unnecessary.
Communicate!
Be Involved and get them involved
Photo by Josh Felise on Unsplash
People love when someone is affectionately giving them enough attention and getting involved with their life.
You could offer to ride them to their friend’s house, you could ask for their help with your work or studies, or simply you can listen to them about everything they want to blabber about.
This should go both ways, and it will make the relationship stronger and cozier since you know about your partner’s life and have experienced it with them.
However, this doesn’t mean you should control, partake in or stalk every single thing they do in life. Sometimes people do want space and knowing when to give some space is another accomplishment.
Give them Space
Be sensitive when they have to work, study or have their own time with their friends.
Being in a relationship doesn’t mean both of you always have to stick together. There could be moments when both of you need your own time to do things on your own. Respect those times and don’t get offended when they ask for some time on their own.
That way neither of you would get exhausted and overwhelmed.
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Maintaining a long-term relationship is hard. There could always be inevitable arguments and unnecessary drama. However, if you would always be sensitive and be supportive to your partner most of these problems would vanish into thin air, just the way they manifested.
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This post was previously published on medium.com.
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 The Lack of Gentle Platonic Touch in Men’s Lives is a Killer |
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