5 Signs a Love Interest Is Dating Material

The story is everywhere.

It seems like almost every one of us has at one time, fallen for the wrong kinds of people. For some unfortunate people though, they’re nothing but serial daters of the same kinds of wrong partners.

It’s just disheartening.

But the patterns that all relationships that end up being too wrong to be satisfying follow are often similar to each other. And can be recognized right from the early days of interest and attraction.

So it’s great to be cognizant of them so that you can differentiate between love interests that are dating materials and the ones that aren’t worth the time and effort.

Hence, here are a few things that set apart great dating materials from the rest of the pack.

#1. They make others also feel important.

My friend was on a date with a new guy on Valentine’s day.

She’s been single for a while. And was looking up to this date as it was her first in about half a decade. Yeah, she just decided to jump back into the dating pool six months after her long-term relationship ended.

On Wednesday morning, the 29-year old beautiful friend of mine called me.

“Johnny, yesterday was particularly a terrible day for me, it was so bad that I wished I had stayed home. Instead of going on the date, I told you I was going with the new guy.”

Here’s her bad date story…

The guy is self-obsessed. You know those people who can’t just stop bragging about how great they are? Yeah, he happened to be one of those people who can’t just stop gushing about how they’re the best, biggest, most, strongest, coolest whatever.

And the worst part?

He even tried to argue and prove to her that he’s cooler and better than she is at a lot of things.

But if he’s that great, he wouldn’t need to rub it all over her face, right?

Great people who are often good dating materials will even go as far as making others feel great and important. Because they know that the right people will always realize how great they are.

People who turn dating into a sales pitch hardly turn out to be good partners.

Someone who only thinks of himself and how important he is will most likely not care about your needs. And might end up treating you overly poorly once you’re in a relationship with them.

That’s why someone who cares enough to also meet your needs to feel special and important should always trump a self-obsessed fellow when it comes to who you should date.

2. They really care about others.

Humanity has changed drastically over the years.

We now live in the age of desensitization. An age where people don’t just care because they’re made to believe they don’t have to.

Social media isn’t helping either. With myriads of memes and content on giving no f*cks on Instagram and other social media platforms, it’s no surprise that they’re a lot of jerks and assholes in today’s dating market.

There’s nothing more painful than ending up with someone who will be hot today, and icy cold the next day — because he doesn’t care.

It becomes even worse when a romantic partner turns out to be one of those jerks or assholes that just care less and are indifferent towards your feelings, thoughts, opinions, and emotions — even to the extent of being somehow emotionally abusive.

Hence, the need to pay more attention to how a love interest treats others and not just you.

Because it’s natural for them to be more caring towards you since they’re trying to win you over.

And if they don’t even seem to be REALLY caring towards you, then falling in love and being in a relationship with them will most likely turn out to be a disaster.

3. They’re always honest.

How often does it feel like a love interest is just telling you what you want to hear?

It happened very frequently to me. It was bloody disappointing. Before meeting my partner, it was a very regular occurrence for me to meet someone who believes white lying or bending the truth “a little bit” is the way to go.

And I’m guessing you might have been countlessly involved with such kinds of people.

You wanna know why there are a lot of these kinds of people in today’s dating market?

We live in an age where insecurity is more or less like a pandemic. You won’t be wrong to call it an age of insecurity. And that’s particularly why there are a lot of insecure people who would do anything to be accepted and loved.

So a particular love interest wouldn’t mind telling you anything he thinks you’d want to hear to secure a second date or even a full-blown relationship.

To top it off, we live in an age where some people wouldn’t mind telling white lies or bending the truth to protect another person’s feelings, avoid conflicts, or elude rocking the boat.

That’s why someone respectful enough to tell the truth even in the most uncomfortable situation is certainly great dating material.

Nothing beats knowing that the person you are hoping to build a feature with is trustworthy and will never manipulate you for some selfish reasons.

4. They respect themselves.

I’m not saying that dating material is someone with a huge ego and is overly inconsiderate. No.

The problem is that you won’t have a great experience dating someone who can be best described as a pushover that has no voice of his own. It’ll mostly feel like you’re dealing with a wishy-washy child instead of a romantic partner.

Let’s not even get started with how dehumanizing and even boring it is to have someone put you on a pedestal to the extent that he or she wouldn’t mind over-sacrificing or bending themselves backward for you even though you don’t need them to.

Now, if you’re like a lot of people out there, you’ll subconsciously know that these kinds of people aren’t dating materials. And you’ll rarely fall for them. Even if you happen to fall for one, you’ll in no time, fall out of love with them.

That’s why this point isn’t just about that type of self-respect. But also the type of self-respect one has that prompts him or her to be a person of integrity.

To be someone that respects themselves enough to respect you, your opinions, feelings, and even boundaries.

You should only look forward to ending up with someone who respects themselves enough to avoid DELIBERATELY putting up behaviors that’ll hurt you or jeopardize the relationship. Because anything contrary will cause you unimaginable pain.

5. They believe in owning up to their mistakes.

People who hope to have a happy, lasting, and fulfilling relationship with someone that hardly apologizes don’t know how ridiculous their hope is.

Some people are so obsessed with perfection that it makes it difficult for them to apologize.

To some other people, it often feels like an admission of inadequacy.

And others simply lack the empathy and ability to put themselves in the place of someone else hence, they can’t tender an apology when they’re in wrong.

Everyone has reasons why they behave the way they do, but that doesn’t mean you don’t deserve better than someone who would never apologize when they intentionally or otherwise hurt you.

If only someone isn’t insecure enough to know that perfection isn’t the real deal. But that transparency and self-awareness to own up, apologize, and make amends whenever they’ve erred is the real thing, you’ll stand a higher chance of enjoying a better and long-lasting relationship with them.

I’m sure you aren’t expecting to have a perfect partner, either. So why should you settle for one who would never apologize whenever they’re in wrong?

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This post was previously published on medium.com.

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